Gentlemen, bounders and cads stage their own 'Chaps Olympics' in London.

LONDON, ENGLAND, UNITED KINGDOM (JULY 11, 2009) HUTC - For those of you who have ever wondered what happened to proper gentleman, please welcome a group of sophisticated people called "The Chaps". These noble cads of refinement are a dying breed who wear horn-rimmed spectacles, listen to music on the wireless radio, wear smoking jackets, cravats, bow ties and hats as well as giving tips on moustache growing and getting a proper shine on leather shoes. The whole concept of their games is to pay tribute to a time gone by and make a stand against vulgarity, to celebrate the "gentleman' and the "dandy".
"It is all about Olympic events for chaps," event organiser Gustav Temple explained. "Now chaps are really not very good at sports. They can't run, they can't jump, they can't lift heavy machinery, they can really do anything except stumble about in a vague haze which has been brought on by gin consumption, martinis, etcetera. So it is really events that will bring out the best in them."

Around 1000 people watched the "Chap" athletes compete against each other in some of the most ingenious, mock Olympic games ever seen for the much-coveted title of "Chap Champion". During the opening ceremony, the Olympic Pipe is lit and passed around the contestants. When all have taken a heady puff of Old Cavendish tobacco, the pipe is placed on the Olympic Pipe Rack and the games commence.

"The British are probably the most appalling sportsmen on the planet. This has been demonstrated by our success or lack of it on the lawn tennis championships recently in Wimbledon, the cricket pitch is not the scene of many glories for England, football stadiums equally, shame hangs heavy on our shoulders, so I would say for the British the only chance of success is to celebrate our ineptitude and really think about the things we are good at. Show me a Brazilian with a sharp trouser crease, who can maintain his trouser crease during umbrella jousting," said Temple.

Events included such activities as The Martini Knockout Relay, Cucumber Sandwich Discus, moustache Tug-of-war, Hop, skip and Gin and Tonic and Bicycle jousting. Points are awarded for elan, panache and the maintenance of an immaculate crease and not for winning.

The weather was typically British, it started off fine, then the rain came and in true tradition interrupted the proceedings temporarily, but this did not dampen their enthusiasm. At the end of the event the organiser was delighted with proceedings, especially commenting on the chaotic flare that had been achieved in stark contrast with other modern day Olympic games.