The Tragedy Of Suicide
Author: Mike Vines

Having someone that you love commit suicide is one of the most
painful human experiences imaginable. It is a sort of grief that
is hard to imagine unless you are aware of the victim's
circumstances or know them personally. Even if you have
experienced the loss of many other loved ones, even through
tragic circumstances, dealing with the grief of someone who is
gone because they took their own life is so much different.
Regardless of your age or your gender, or that of the person who
has passed away, dealing with suicide is never easy. It is a
grief that seems more personal than any other kind, and leaves
us wondering, sometimes for the rest of our lives, the true
cause of their final act of desperation.

A Different Kind of Grief

Dealing with the loss of a loved one whose death was a result
of suicide is very challenging. In addition to the immense
feelings of loss and sadness you may also be experiencing shock,
blame, anger, and trouble understanding what went wrong. A
suicide is usually an unexpected death, so it is hard dealing
with all of these feelings at the same time. Many people have
described the grief process of someone who died of suicide as a
terrible roller coaster that just won't end.

There are many feelings that come with the death of someone
that you love in this manner. Some of the feelings that are
experienced are guilt, blame, anger, shame, confusion, relief,
despair, betrayal, and of course abandonment. This mix of
emotions is understandably overwhelming and as a result the
grieving individual may feel that they are very disconnected
from the person who has passed away as well as those that are
still living.

Many people who are grieving after a suicide become obsessed
with the need to understand the person's reasons for their
action. This can be an overwhelming need, and one that can never
be fulfilled. Because of this, there may be a huge sense of
responsibility for the death. Other people get angry and feel as
though the deceased went about the suicide as a hateful act; to
get back at them for something.

The Stigma Attached with Suicide

The stigma attached with suicide truly does affect the mourning
process, more so than a lot of people realize. There are many
cultural taboos and religious beliefs attached to suicide that
can lead one to be unfairly judged by friends when they really
need them the most. Many people avoid the subject of suicide
altogether, not ever allowing themselves the time to deal with
the grief that they are feeling. The stigma attached to suicide
really does leave a lot of people feeling very isolated and
stressed out which can make the grief process all the more
difficult, and may leave some at risk for suicide or suicidal
ideation themselves.

You're Not Alone

When you are coping with the loss of someone that you love and
you are dealing with the mix of emotions and the compounded
grief experienced by those touched by suicide, you should know
that you are not alone. Annually there are 10 to 20 million
people who attempt to commit suicide, and they are people of all
ages, races, and social status. In fact, one in four people know
someone who has passed away through this means. Men over the age
of 70 are more likely to commit suicide though it is seen in
people of all ages from the very young to the very old.

Coping with Your Loss

Are you struggling with the loss of someone who died through
the act of suicide? It can be very difficult but you need to
remember that you are not alone. Coping with the loss is
something that everyone does differently, but there are some
things that you can do to help yourself move through the grief
process. First and foremost, you need to acknowledge the suicide
even though it may be against your religious or cultural belief.
Next, you should recognize your feelings and the loss that you
have experienced. Be sure to talk openly with your friends and
family members about your grief, reaching out to your friends.

Many people find that support groups specifically for those
that have been affected by suicide are very helpful. There are
groups of this type for every age group, so you'll be sure to
find one where you fit right in. Also give yourself permission
to struggle with birthdays and anniversaries that are tied to
the deceased, as these can be the most difficult times during
the year. Try creating or perpetuating a familiar routine that
will honor the person that you loved, and their life.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one through suicide is
difficult and if you are struggling and just need to talk to
someone there is always someone you can reach out to. Even if
you don't feel like you can talk to your friends and you don't
want to burden your family members, there are still other
resources. Visit Befrienders Worldwide and you'll find that
there are plenty of people that can help you through this very
difficult time. And don't forget the GriefManagement Forums
where a community of folks just like you is willing to share
their experiences and offer the support you need.


About The Author: http://GriefManagement.org was created to
provide a safe and congenial home to those suffering from grief,
along with the hope and understanding from a community of
concerned individuals willing to share their own experiences to
help others through the difficulties of life.