Shower People With Love
Author: Sharif Khan

My younger brother, Junaid, passed away recently after a two
year battle with cancer. He died as I was holding his hands at
Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto on March 19, 2008 at 11:10am. Our
whole family was there at his bedside when he passed away. He
was only 33 years old.

Especially difficult to bear was the fact that just over a year
into my brother's illness he had made a miraculous recovery
after enduring several rounds of chemo, radiation and various
alternative health treatments. (When Junaid was first diagnosed
with stage four base-of-the-tongue cancer, he was given 7 months
to live with less than a 10% chance of survival).

Unfortunately, a few months after the recovery, the cancer
reemerged with a vengeance. The tumor at the base of his tongue
started growing and eating through sensitive nerve and gum
tissue – eventually devouring part of his jaw bone.

The pain was so excruciating (despite all the different pain
meds he was on) that he wanted to end his life on many
occasions. Just trying to manage the pain was an ongoing
struggle with frequent visits to his pain doctor. It's a
horrible, horrible disease that no one should have to go
through.

I'm astounded at the enormous courage and inner strength my
brother displayed throughout this whole ordeal. His dream in
life was to become an actor; and despite his weakened state and
slurred speech, he kept on auditioning for parts even though he
kept getting turned down repeatedly.

He lived and died honorably and was the most honest person I've
ever known. I'm very grateful for the time I had to spend with
my brother before he passed away. He is my role model and hero
who taught me many valuable life lessons from his example.

One day when my brother Junaid was staying over at the
hospital, a friend of his dropped by our home hoping Junaid
would be there. I protectively blocked the front porch entrance
and told him my brother was not in. He had a grip of steel when
we shook hands and I immediately formed an impression about this
person.

I later told Junaid about his friend dropping by and mentioned
that he looked a bit like a street thug. Without missing a beat,
my brother covered the trach tube in his throat with his fingers
and strained in a raspy voice: "He's lived a hard life and has
no one to love him. You have to shower people with love –
because nobody else will."

My knees almost buckled as I fought back tears. My younger
brother was teaching me a lesson in humility and love. I was
ashamed of myself for having judged someone I barely knew.

I learned that my brother had befriended a number of people
that most of society had rejected, and he showered them with
love and kindness.

What a powerful message. I believe we can all make a difference
in the world by showering people with love. And it doesn't take
much. A kind gesture to a neighbor. Catching someone doing
something right. Warmly welcoming a newcomer who feels out of
place in a group. Visiting a sick co-worker at the hospital.
Lending a helping hand or giving encouragement to anyone that
needs it.

Shower people with love.

You know, I've spent a longtime trying to figure out exactly
how to break this news to you. In my desire to honor my brother
and raise awareness in a big way, a crippling paralysis
overwhelmed me - rendering me incapacitated and not knowing what
to do.

How ironic that I found the answer to my problem in my own Hero
Soul book! In the chapter titled `Peace' I began with Anne
Frank's quote: "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a
single moment before starting to improve the world."

I'm taking Anne Frank's message to heart by not waiting and
starting now. I'm volunteering for the upcoming Canadian Cancer
Society's "Relay for Life" to help raise funds for cancer
research and support services while celebrating cancer survivors
and remembering loved ones lost to cancer.

I've set up a tribute page with a photo of my brother, to honor
his message and help raise funds for cancer research. If you'd
like to make a contribution, please visit:
http://convio.cancer.ca/goto/junaidkhan

Let's do our part in making cancer history so we can help save
lives and prevent someone from going through what my brother had
to go through. Let's not wait – let's start now!

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates
the soul of the giver." - Maya Angelou


About The Author: Sharif Khan (http://www.herosoul.com) is the
author of "Psychology of the Hero Soul," an inspirational
leadership book on awakening the hero within. He has set up a
tribute page to honor his brother's powerful message of love at:
http://www.showerpeoplewithlove.com