8 Tips on How to Read Body Language
Author: Pamela Scott

Our bodies communicate what we're feeling loudly and
clearly. If you get angry in a conversation, your brain
takes a minute or so to figure out how to respond without
losing your temper. While your brain is doing its thing,
your body is flashing signs that you are fuming. Here are
eight tips for reading body language, so you can understand
what's not being said.

All of these tips are based on American interpretations of
body language. While some of this may apply to other
cultures, not all of these aspects of body language convey
the same message in other cultures.

A Smile is Just a Smile

Not always. A real smile involves crinkling around the
eyes, the muscle action that leads to crows feet. The faux
smiles you see on Hollywood faces are just poses. Unless
the eyes are involved, the smile means nothing.

A Cold Shoulder is Really Cold

I was meeting with a friend and her husband. We were
discussing business. When the husband brought up a sore
topic that my friend didn't want to discuss, she
unknowingly turned her shoulder away from her husband. She
wasn't aware that she did so, but he got the message and
changed the subject.

Here's the Church, Here's the Steeple . . .

We steeple our hands by putting our fingertips together in
an inverted V. That gesture indicates confidence and can
convey a superior position. This is not a good gesture to
use when trying to close a deal. A woman who is working in
a man's world can use this position to convey strength.

An Eye for an Eye

In the U.S., we expect people to look us in the eye when
they talk to us. In a crowded elevator or on the street,
someone who makes eye contact is open to a conversation
with you. If you are talking and don't want to be
interrupted, look away at the end of a sentence. That eye
movement keeps your control. On the other hand, if you want
to talk and the speaker isn't giving you a chance, stare at
him intensely. He should stop talking and let you speak.

A Heart-to-Heart Talk

This sounds silly but it works. If you are trying to
establish rapport with someone, point your heart at his or
her heart. Conversely, if you don't like what you are
hearing, point your heart away from the speaker.

You've Got to Hand It to Them

Prince Charles often stands with his hands clasped behind
his back. This posture conveys superiority, confidence and
power. When the hands are clasped in front of one's body,
the posture conveys a need for protection.

Heads Up

Nodding one's head is a sign of agreement or saying "yes."
A slow nod, usually done in threes, is a technique you can
use to keep someone talking. A fast nod means you want them
to hurry up so you can talk.

Good Old Boy Pose

You've seen this position in the movies. Guys put their
hands behind their head, elbows sticking out, frequently
leaning back, with one foot across the other knee. This
position conveys authority and willingness to argue.
Another man can respond to this gesture by assuming the
same pose. A woman can disarm this position by standing up
and moving whi


About the Author:

Pam Scott is CEO of Armstrong Scott Inc., the expert in
communication and leadership for the engineering world. Her
passion lies in helping individuals with interpersonal
communications and helping companies with strategic
communications. Go to
http://www.weknowengineers.com/optin/index.htm to get the
FREE report "How to Master the Art of Managing People."