Keeping Your Child Off Drugs
Author: Colin Galbraith

Protecting a child from harm and enabling him with the
confidence and decision-making abilities required for adulthood
is something most parents hope for. But while parents are the
single most influencing factor in a child's life, what can they
do to protect their children from the influence drugs have in
today's thrill seeking society?

Teach by Example

What parents say and how they act goes a long way to enabling a
child to make the right decisions as he grows older. But a child
can be subject to confusing signals from his parents, especially
when rules laid down in the home are disobeyed by others, or
when conflicting behavior causes the child to doubt what he has
been told.

For example, a child who is told that alcohol is bad for his
health, and who then witnesses his parent drink too much at a
family barbeque, will be confused. Similarly, a child who is
told smoking will kill him, and that he should never start--like
his parents did--will not understand when he sees his parents'
friends being allowed to smoke in the house.

And there are other, more subtle conflicting signals that a
child may pick up on, such as being asked to fetch a beer from
the refrigerator, or watching an adult open a wine bottle in
order to cope with an unhappy or tense situation.

But when drugs are involved, a whole new set of problems
present themselves.

When a parent uses illegal drugs, not only does he compromise
his child's safety, but he also destroys the child's ability to
form consistent moral codes. The opposing conflict of right and
wrong becomes grayed, and the child will try to follow the
example set by his parents.

Parents that think they can hide drug use from their children
are self-delusional, and the day their children discover the
secret, all credibility and parental authority will be lost.
After all, if the parents do not respect the law, then why
should the children?

Values are handed down through generations of families by the
manner in which they are displayed and lived by, but there are
other things that can be done to lessen the controlling
influence that drugs might have.

Set Boundaries

By setting clear boundaries of expectation and enforcing them
in a consistent manner, parents can ensure their children do not
receive mixed messages. Confidence in decision-making is
enhanced, if the children feel they are behaving in a manner
that is safe within these boundaries.

The consequences of breaching your boundaries must be explained
in advance, i.e., what your child can expect to happen as
punishment. Accordingly, punishment must be appropriate, and
should be implemented without exception.

When you begin to talk about drugs, don't assume your child
will know where you stand; it must be made clear but in a
non-aggressive manner. Don't be ambiguous, or the child may be
tempted to stray.

Explain that you forbid him to use drugs (and perhaps even
other substances, such as alcohol and tobacco), because you love
him and always will. Hold your child, and back up your wishes
with an emotional statement about how it would break your heart.
Research has shown that a child will base his future decisions
about whether to use drugs on what his parents would think if
they found out.

Communicate

As your child grows up, it can become harder to find suitable
opportunities to discuss issues about drugs. In an increasingly
polarized culture, it is important to talk to your child from an
early age and at regular intervals, to keep communication from
stagnating.

Family meetings are an excellent way of ensuring communication
lines are kept open, provided they are balanced and honest. A
weekly meeting in which all members of the family can discuss
their personal triumphs and problems, without fear of prejudice
or punishment, is a valuable tool in helping your child grow
secure within your moral code. Issues about drugs can be brought
up at these meetings without your child feeling singled out or
under pressure, and it will help him feel more involved as he
develops into an adult.

Get Involved

There are many advantages to getting involved with your child's
life. Being active shows him you enjoy his company, and keeps
him embraced in the family spirit. It also allows you to set a
positive example, and ensures you remain close to your child.

If you suffer from stress, it is a great way of helping to
relieve it, but perhaps more importantly, it provides an
opportunity for you to strengthen your bond, and build a solid
foundation of trust and respect away from the influence of
drugs.

Show Your Child You Care

A child who decides not to use drugs often makes this decision
because he has developed strong convictions against their use.
This may be because of the values you instilled as he grew up,
but unfortunately in some cases, it is because the child
witnessed the effects drugs have had on people close to him.

You can make your family's values clear early on by explaining
why you chose a particular course of action, and how that choice
is reflected in your values. By showing your child, and not just
telling him, that you care about the choices he makes,
particularly about drugs and other substances, you are
encouraging him to make good decisions now, and in later life.

Always let your child know how happy you are that he respects
your boundaries. Praise him when he deserves it, but punish
accordingly when it is deserved. Emphasize the things your child
does correctly, instead of focusing on the mistakes he makes.

When parents are quicker to praise than to criticize, children
learn to feel good about themselves, and they soon develop the
self-confidence required to trust their own judgment. In the
end, that is what every parent wants.


About The Author: Colin Galbraith writes articles on drug rehab
in California. For more information on the Narconon program, and
the New Life Detoxification program, visit
http://www.drugrehab.net. If you plan to reproduce this article,
please include the link above.