As I speak, our years of uninhibited hedonism are waning as we speak. I, for one, didn't take enough advantage of my high school days, when I could have behaved badly then left it all behind for the anonymity of college.
"Why no," I could have denied, "I've never been topless on a jungle gym. How lewd!"
Instead I played it safe and sweet, got good grades and ended up here, where I soon discovered that there was a pleasure kitten waiting to emerge. And, ladies of Cal Poly, I think it's high time you got in touch with yours!
This school doesn't lend itself much to glamour or sexual exploration; let's just admit that right now. But does that mean we as individuals should give in to the stifling pressure of being a "Nice Girl?"
Hell no!
Wranglers, slide rulers, tubas or calculators; whatever your drug of choice is, we all deserve sexual satisfaction. But how do we find it?
We're raised with the idea that true love equals sexual bliss, but let me tell ya, that's not always the case. In fact, you can have great sex (or kissing or whatever) with people you don't love, people you don't even particularly like. Furthermore, you can have truly awful hook-ups with the man you want to marry. But there are some women out there, women I try and surround myself with, that find pleasure no matter what or with whom. And those women all have one thing in common.
They masturbate.
You're cringing right now as you read that word, and I am too. Masturbation. Bleecchh, what a horrible term. It's something you hiss through your teeth, not proudly belt out in front of important people. It doesn't even have the humorous intonations that "penis" or "vagina" has. It's just creepy.
I realized a while ago that the actual word "masturbation" was preventing me from becoming totally comfortable with the act. So I adopted a new phrase, one that guys have been using for years: "J-ing off." Not "jerk off" or "jack off," because those sound equally repulsive. "J-ing off" kind of rolls off your tongue, doesn't it?
It's quiet, mysterious and blends in with other normal words: "Yeah I bought a new blender today, j-ed off and then watched 'The Sopranos.' Carmela just needs to leave Tony already!"
The sex educator who came to campus a few days ago said that women are made to feel guilty about self-exploration, mostly because our pleasure zones are less observable than men's. Boys can't help but stumble onto themselves, but women - that takes deliberate effort. And many of us associate that effort with being "Bad Girls." There was a time in my life when I could have killed a man with less guilt than I had j-ing off.
THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I finally abandoned my subconscious fear of being labeled a whore, a tramp or just plain perverse. I unlocked the door to my own womanhood and took control of my sex life. There was no way I could expect a guy to give me an orgasm if I couldn't even give myself one.
Should we women seriously let a man put his penis inside of us if we can't even put our own hand down there? Ridiculous.
Many women don't j-off because they secretly feel like men wouldn't approve. Sisters, I have yet to meet a man who is turned off by a woman gettin' down with herself, because they know that it makes their job a whole lot more fun. And big bonus points if you're bold enough to incorporate it into the hook-up.
Most guys know that it's difficult for women to have orgasms through intercourse alone, so I'm sure he'd accept anything you do to enhance your experience.
But perhaps the biggest advantage of girls j-ing off is that we learn to separate love and sex. It sounds awful, like you're emotionally preparing yourself for prostitution, but I believe that it is the most valuable lesson a girl can learn. Many women are taught that to go out looking for sexual pleasure is bad! Bad! Bad! It's more than bad; it's a sin.
We are demure creatures meant to share our bodies with our husbands and no one else. That's why some people are getting married at 22 or 23 years old. Not because they genuinely want to forfeit a life of their own and to start shooting out babies, but because they want to know the secret of sexual pleasure without feeling guilty.
Sex in marriage is safe: No one can judge you for going at it like rabbits after you're wed. To a lesser degree, the same is true for sex inside a committed relationship. But isn't solo sex the safest of all? People cheat, STDs surface, babies happen - things fall apart. The biggest disappointment one can face j-ing off is somehow smashing your $70 Venus Butterfly Vibe - which is on the same heartbreak level as divorce.
Yes, some college students have found their soulmates and are ready to get hitched: Many engagements would be extended if a man gave a girl a vibrator instead of a diamond!
But don't worry, my darlings, self-love won't detract from sexual experiences with another, it will only enhance it. Embrace being a woman and all the magic that goes with it. I challenge you to hold your head high and carry your vibrator like a torch, illuminating the dark corners of conservativism.
Set a glowing example for oppressed women everywhere and in honor of the cherished Martin Luther King Jr., adopt his cry as our own, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, we are free at last!"
(C) 2002 Mustang Daily via U-WIRE
