Why Some People Drive You Nuts
Author: Thejendra Sreenivas

An ancient proverb says, "Everyone looks normal, until you get
to know them better." And the reverse is also true and that is,
"Everyone looks abnormal until you get to know them better." On
our planet a very large percentage of people exhibit
characteristics of being tough, highly independent, stubborn,
impossible to please, restless, perfectionists, etc., and they
continue to lead their entire life like that. And everyone would
have definitely experienced or heard true stories of such people
who drive others nuts through their irrational behaviors. The
traditional methods of interaction that works for normal or
sweet people just don't work for them. So how do you deal with
such tough people? The simple answer is you cannot in most of
the cases. Nor can you fully blame the other person for acting
irrational, as there is usually a specific scientific reason for
such behavior. And that reason is biological in nature as man is
not a uniformly programmed species like animals and birds. As
you would have observed animals and birds of a species behave in
exactly the same manner. For example, a sheep has been
biologically programmed by Mother Nature to be a timid creature,
while a tiger has been programmed to be ferocious. You don't see
tigers give up their ferocious nature even if you breed and
train them under captivity. And a sheep cannot be trained to
become a ferocious creature. But no such rules applies to human
beings. Man is not uniform in his behavior and each person is
unique in his or her own inborn ways. For example, even in the
case of identical twins one can exhibit a rough nature while
another can be sweet. This is why it is rarely possible to
effectively lead people, unless you use some unconventional
methods. Or it is better to gain the specific knowledge that
teaches you how to understand why people act cranky. Coming back
to the original discussion people who are restless, impatient,
irritable, tough, perfectionists, demanding, etc., normally
belong to a category called Type-A personality with certain
characteristics as explained below. In some cases they can even
be a higher version called Type-A+, the kind you see in
dictators or extremely tough and dangerous people.

Given below is a layman's guide to understanding the
characteristics of Type A and A+ people.

1. Type-A people suffer from an exaggerated sense of urgency
for everything. For example, they hate being late or kept
waiting. They periodically experience bouts of anger,
restlessness, irritability, impatience and general hostility for
everything. Due to this they get angry for simple or even
trivial reasons without realizing why.

2. Such people don't know how and when to relax, and are always
in an endless state of internal turmoil, often uncontrolled and
unknowingly. Their thinking and thoughts will normally be very
intense. They are usually very independent and direct to the
point. For example, they don't take insults or criticism
lightly.

3. They will always be on the lookout for perfection (of their
definition) in everything they do. Such people demand that
perfection even from others and want everyone to rise to their
level of thinking and working. They expect other to read their
mind and act accordingly thereby making others uncomfortable and
often exhibit dictatorial behaviours.

4. Facial calmness is different from internal turmoil.
Internally they experience enormous amounts of personal stress
that they cannot release easily or share their problems with
others. Such people don't realize their effect on others as they
simply do not see the ugly picture they portray to others.

5. Type-A people also experience higher degrees of heart
troubles than others.

In fact, Type-A/A+ personality develop right from childhood and
this is why we see why many kids are difficult to handle. It is
not easy to deal with Type-A/A+ people for the simple reason you
could be one yourself. Most people don't know they are Type-A,
unless a doctor or psychologist tells them. It is this lack of
knowledge that causes a great deal of grief both ways when
dealing with such people. Nevertheless it is important to
recognize that a mysterious thing called a Type-A/A+ personality
exists in many humans and learn some ways to deal with it
effectively.

If you are a Type-A person yourself: The most important
knowledge in life is to constantly be aware of your own
behaviors. Before criticizing or grumbling about the qualities
of others, it is important to test if you belong to a Type-A/A+
personality yourself. For this you need a candid discussion with
yourself or perhaps a doctor to see if our have any of the
qualities mentioned above. Secondly there are some psychological
tests available free on the internet that can determine if you
are a Type-A/A+, provided you answer the questions honestly. If
you discover you are a Type-A/A+, then you should take immediate
steps to create an internal calmness program before you go bust.
The change will not happen overnight, but now that you know a
beast exists inside you it is time to take charge of your
behaviors and not let it run amok. For example, the next time
you start getting impatient when waiting for someone or
something, you can realize the agitation that is brewing inside
you is because you have a Type-A personality. Then you can start
calming down and stop getting agitated further. Gradually you
will understand why you are stressed, why you are always
agitated, why you blow your fuse, why you can't relax, and so
on. Soon for every irrational behavior you exhibit, you can have
an immediate self realization gently thumping you on the head to
steer you to a calmer behavior. Armed with this knowledge you
can now gradually learn to relax, be lazy, cultivate the power
to let go, and enjoy life better.

If you are dealing with a Type-A person: Except for a genuine
mental illness and certain types of personal problems, it is
usually the intense biological forces of Type-A/A+ that make
people act cranky for anything and everything. But if you are
knowledgeable about the characteristics of a type-A/A+ persons
it is easy to understand the irrational behavior of others. So
if a person is acting impatient or fussy you now know exactly
why they do that. Instead of agitating the person further you
can think of ways to help him or her if possible. And you can
also educate them to realize they are a Type-A/A+ person so that
it enlightens them and others.

There is another personality called a Type-B personality, or a
socializer type who has the following characteristics.

1. They are relaxed and have a cool attitude.
2. They are friendly, patient, easy to deal with, and generally
content with life.
3. They will be at peace and harmony within themselves, and
look at life in a positive way and are not too concerned about
losing.

Finally your objective is to gradually become a Type-B person
to a large extent in your life, while retaining the Type-A
behaviors to areas where it is absolutely necessary. It is not
easy to make the jump from A/A+ to B, and may take several
months of conscious effort, but it is possible if you take small
sustained steps towards it.

Finally we conclude this article with a beautiful quote from
Lee Iacocca who says, "I have always found that if I move with
seventy-five percent or more of the facts that I usually never
regret it. It's the guys who wait to have everything perfect
that drive you crazy."


About The Author: Thejendra BS is an IT manager and author of
LIFE-365:-A Year's Supply of Wisdom, Tips & Advice for Everyone.
Visit http://www.thejendra.com to buy this extremely useful book
that can change your life.