Love and Hate
Author: Bernice Ross

Love is the unifying force. Anything else is separation,
regardless of the name we give it. Generally, most of us
use the words "love" and "hate" as antonyms. Some have
argued that love and hate are merely two sides on the same
coin. Others have put forth the belief that the real
antonym for love is apathy, the sheer lack of any feeling
whatsoever. Others have argued that the opposite of love is
fear. When we experience the oneness or a sense of
connectedness, we are at peace and feel the joy of giving
and receiving love. When we act in ways that separate us,
whether it is through apathy, fear, or hate, we lose our
joy because we have lost our connection with love. But how
can I feel love towards someone who is hurting me by being
hateful or abusive? This can be very difficult. The first
step is to understand that hurtful behavior comes from
fear. Ask yourself, what is this person so fearful about
they needed to act in this way with me? Second, ask, "Why
have I attracted this behavior?" "What have I tolerated,
what have I allowed in my life that I am now having to
experience this behavior?" Once you have identified the
source, shift to a different place, a place that comes from
love and no longer attracts what is negative.

Challenge: Next time you encounter someone who reacts
negatively to you or causes you some other type of hurt,
try one of the following techniques to reduce how their
behavior impacts you. First, imagine that you are standing
behind a thick sheet of plexiglass. The glass allows
information to come through, allows you to clearly see the
other individual, but protects you from anything harmful
that the person might say or do to you. Your glass filters
out all that is negative and only allows that which is
positive to pass through. You can see through them and
acknowledge their fear, but it doesn't penetrate the glass.
It doesn't affect you. A second approach involves using a
mirror. (If you feel strongly that someone is sending you
bad vibes, you may want to keep the mirror in a pocket with
the reflective side facing out). Then, what ever happens to
you throughout the course of the day, you can mirror it
back to the person who sent it to you with love. When using
this approach, place no anger or resentment on what you
send, only love.


About the Author:

Bernice L. Ross, Ph.D., is a Nationally Syndicated Real
Estate Columnist, Master Certified Coach and CEO of
http://www.RealEstateCoach.com . She provides training,
coaching, and consulting. While researching alternative
teaching and decision-making tools, Bernice discovered,
among Native American traditions, a model to assist people
in making better decisions. Read more at
http://blross.typepad.com/going_where .