Meal Time Dilemmas
Author: Susan Epstein

Are meal times a nightmare in your house? Do you feel like a
short order cook?

Do you feel disrespected, ineffectual and helpless in feeding
your kids? Parents everywhere are having this problem. In our
attempt to encourage and give our kids every opportunity to be
independent and make choices we have lost our edge.

Parents ask when they should be commanding, giving choices when
none are necessary and put up with their kids treating them with
contempt.

Children need rules, structure and few choices. It is too much
to ask a child, "What do you want for breakfast?" You know
exactly what happens. You put the waffle down and he refuses to
eat it saying he really wanted the bagel, so then you make the
bagel and he doesn't want that either!

Thirty minutes later you have prepared numerous breakfasts and
he hasn't eaten a thing and you are at the end of your rope
ready to start and probably already screaming at him. You
decide that he is a picky eater and it's all about him.

But that is a myth…

So let's say, you make the waffle for breakfast. You don't ask
him what he wants; you just serve the waffle. He either eats it
or doesn't but that is the only choice he gets. He says, "I
don't want a waffle!"

You respond:

"This is what is for breakfast. If you don't want to eat it
that's okay, but there are no other choices and you'll have to
wait for snack at school to eat again".

THEN…

If he persists, stand firm, repeating your new mantra, "This is
what is for breakfast. "Do not yell, do not get frustrated. If
he doesn't eat, he will learn by his growling belly at
school."But, Susan, if he doesn't eat breakfast and goes to
school on an empty stomach, he'll be uncomfortable and all good
parents make sure their kids eat breakfast!"

All good parents provide their kids with food. You cannot make
your
child eat.

AND…

Believe me, he won't go hungry! You will have created a morning
that runs smoothly, with no stress. He will learn that eating is
between him and his belly not between him and you. In addition,
you will be providing him with the structure that he wants and
needs. He really doesn't want to have to make difficult
choices. He wants you to decide.

This is one more way that you are commanding respect. You need
to be on 100%. So pick a day that you are rested and in fairly
good spirits, have someone you can call for support if you feel
yourself caving…and carry on COMMANDING RESPECT, you deserve it!
don't you?

About The Author: Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Life Coach,
works with parents looking to get control of their family life.
She practiced psychotherapy for 23 years before becoming a
coach, writer and speaker. An expert in the areas of family
dynamics, parenting and child development, Susan will uncover
and unleash your parenting power. You can read more of Susan's
parenting articles, and the special report 'Take Back Your
Parenting Power" at Susan's website
http://www.ParentingPowers.com .