Picking Your Battles: How To Know Which Words
Are Better Left Unsaid
Author: Alex Daniels

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but how you handle
these disagreements may be the defining moments that will
ultimately determine your happiness and that of your partner.
Instead of arguing over every little thing, learning which
debates are worth it and which are not will help to keep your
love intact.

When you spend a lot of time with someone, such as a mate,
there will undoubtedly be disagreements. Minor arguments may
involve where to eat dinner, what to watch on television,
household habits, which movie to see or what to do this
weekend. More often than not, these issues are better left to
compromise rather than a shouting match. Alternating decisions
will help to ensure that both you and your partner will get to
enjoy your favorite things. For instance, you may get to
choose tonight's movie and your spouse can choose the next.

Both parties in a relationship need to maintain their own
lives, which is why it's perfectly normal to enjoy doing things
together and still spending some time apart. Perhaps she wants
a day of pampering or shopping with her best girlfriends and he
prefers poker night with the guys or a weekend trip to a
sporting event. Having this time apart is important and should
never be the subject of a serious disagreement unless it
constantly interferes with your time together as a couple.

If you should find yourself in a heated situation, avoid the
temptation to blurt out the first thing that comes to your
mind. If you do, remorse will inevitably follow. Rather than
saying something that you may later regret, take a few minutes
to cool off before returning to the conversation. Leave the
room or the area where your mate is and spend several minutes
alone. This will give both of you the chance to think about
what needs to be said and how best to explain it in a rational
way. Choosing your words and when to use them in a
relationship is essential to working through your problems as
opposed to creating new ones. When you resolve one issue
completely, it is also less likely to be verbally tossed into
the next argument.

In some cases, you and your spouse may find yourselves at an
impasse. If this occurs, simply agree to disagree and try to
move forward unless the argument involves infidelity,
dishonesty or an otherwise potentially unforgivable act that
may require couple's counseling or a complete reevaluation of
the relationship. In some cases, financial issues can also be
a real problem. Because money is the number one reason that
most couples fight, it is not something that should be ignored
or overlooked when it comes to spending habits and/or budgets.
In every case, it is better to discuss and resolve the issue
rather than allowing it to fester without taking action to
correct the problem.

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