Tha Art Of Empathy
Author: Kenrick Cleveland

Empathy: The ability to identify with and experience the
vicarious feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another person.

This can be a huge benefit when we're persuading.

First, an exercise to get into the mindsets of our affluent
clientèle. . .

This is about responding to your client or prospect's
experiences. In a previous article I wrote about the pink
bubble, and how to use that for rapport building. Well, in this
exercise, we're going to figuratively experience what they
experience.

And when you do this, you build up in your prospects and
clients a huge amount of trust. Rapport is right around the
corner.

This comes naturally with loved ones--friends, family,
spouse--because we know and understand them deeply. By using
empathy with your prospects, people you maybe don't know very
well, this rapport and insight will come just as naturally.

You're going to need a partner for this, so find someone
willing to role play with you.

Here's the exercise: Ask your partner to think of something.
Anything. And call it 'A'. As they answer, notice their body,
how it's arranged, watch their face, their breathing, their
muscle tension, whether they're fidgeting, and take a snapshot
in your head of what this looks like. Along with your mental
snapshot, say to yourself, 'This is how they represent 'A'.'

Break this state by having them stand up, walk around briefly,
and name three things that they can see in the room. . . a
coffee cup, photograph, bookshelf. . .etc. This reverts them
back to their normal state.

The next step is to have them think of something entirely
different--not opposite, just different--and call this thought
'B'.

[NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of the opposite
may make it easier, but I encourage you to develop your skills
and not use something opposite once you've got the hang of it.]

And break the state again.

This is the fun part. Have them think either 'A' or 'B' without
telling you which one they're choosing. Which one are they
thinking about? You need to figure this out just by looking at
them. Which snapshot are you viewing?

Switch roles after a few tries and let them experience what
you're thinking. This exercise helps you really know the people
you're dealing with.

Of course you're not going to practice this and role play with
your prospects. This is an exercise to fine-tune your
observation skills and should be done with friends or
co-workers.

Eventually you'll be able to recognize the smallest of changes
in their states as you talk with them.

And maybe they won't exactly be able to pinpoint the feelings
they are getting, but they will feel a connection with you.

What's the point? It's just another way to gain fast and
powerful rapport at the same time putting your prospect into a
state where they are feeling understood.

You can also use this to determine if someone's lying to you.

If someone explains that their finances are "perfect" but they
are slouched or some other physical clue tells you they're being
incongruous, this is really a dead giveaway that they don't have
an ideal financial picture.

These and other persuasion strategies can be used to help your
prospect open up, feel that sense of trust and rapport, and get
to the heart of issues so that you can become the answer to
their problems if the situation warrants.


About The Author: Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn
the business of affluent clients using
http://www.maxpersuasion.com persuasion. He runs public and
private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching
programs in persuasion techniques.