Anti-Aging Rule: Choose Your Friends Carefully
Author: Barbara Morris

My mother always reminded her kids that people judge you by the
company you keep. The admonition was meant primarily for my
brother who tended to prefer the company of neighborhood
rowdies – the kids who ran around with their shirttail hanging
out, their knickers not pulled up, their hair uncombed, and
used inappropriate language like "gosh" and "gee whiz." (Yes,
yes, I know. But that was back in the Dark Ages.)

She was right – people do judge you by people with whom you
associate. But in our contemporary culture, few people are
concerned about the judgment of others. However, if you are at
midlife, and you want to retain youthful characteristics and
vibrant good health, the company you keep is very important for
a reason rarely discussed.

And that reason is this: We develop "old" thinking and
behaviors from observation and emulation of "old" or "older"
people we associate with most frequently. They could be family
members, close friends, neighbors, or co-workers. And let's not
forget the influence of archaic conventional wisdom and
consensus thinking. "Oldness" is insidious and viral. You
really have to watch what you allow into your head and adopt as
your own.

Does someone in your family insist on being catered to not
because of an infirmity but because "I've done for others all
of my life, and now it's time for others to do for me"? Grandma
did it, so you do it, too. We should do for our elders, but not
when elders are perfectly capable of caring for themselves.
It's unkind and unwise to encourage dependence. If entitlement
or other "old age" behavior causes unhappiness in your family,
it can stop with you.

Aside from family life, one of the best places to catch the
oldness virus is in retirement communities or any living
situation where you are in contact primarily with people your
own age.

Retirement communities, for the most part, are beautiful. They
are quiet, well maintained and many offer amenities that can
keep you going nonstop: Trips, classes, social and sports
events, state of the art exercise equipment, music, arts,
crafts, tennis, swimming, theater -- you name it. What more
could you want if you are over 50?

What you should want, and must want, if you are determined to
Put Old on Hold is regular association with people of ALL ages
and circumstances. If you are at midlife (50-55), healthy, and
choose to buy into a retirement community, think about the
environment you will be in for a very long time.

In a new community that stresses active lifestyles, there will
probably be many residents about your age. But what happens as
time goes on? Assuming the community remains stable, there
probably won't be too many younger people moving in over the
years. You may consider that a bonus, but remember this: Over
time, your closest friends and acquaintances will likely be
those within the community, especially if your lifestyle
becomes more settled. This is something to consider ahead of
time.

The life span has increased by 27 years in the past century.
Those bonus years represent a long time to live in a situation
where predominant topics of conversation, eventually, will be
about aches, pains, which neighbor is in the hospital or who
died last week, and which widower is up for grabs, and what his
favorite casserole is. The reality is this: If you are at
midlife and you choose to segregate yourself in a seniors-only
environment, the "oldness" virus will get you sooner than
later.

Young people, as irritating as they often can be, can also be
open, patient, kind, understanding and tolerant. For me, one of
the joys of working is the opportunity to interact with young
people. On more than one occasion, their presence has helped me
lighten up on impatience and crankiness. You cannot pay for that
kind of therapy!

Exposure to young people is essential if you want to broaden
your worldview and stay current with what is happening beyond
your world and circle of friends. You may not approve of what
you see and hear but it does help you cope with reality –
something that older people often have a hard time dealing
with.

Deliberately put yourself where younger people are. Take or
teach classes at the local community college. Join
organizations that do not segregate by age, i.e. seniors-only
or boomers-only groups. Volunteer to mentor teens who could
benefit from your wisdom and experience.

Indeed, if you have a choice, choose your friends, associates
and living environment carefully as you age. They can and do
affect how well you age and the quality of your life.


About The Author: Barbara Morris,77, is a pharmacist and
recognized expert on unique anti-aging and youth preservation
strategies. Author of Put Old on Hold, her message is for
Boomers who want to maintain their present level of mental and
physical fitness for additional 25 or more years. Newsletter
sign-up at http://www.PutOldonHold.com