Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

All of us have met people who just seem to be happy most of
the time. Perhaps you have assumed that these people are
just naturally happy, or that they are the lucky people who
have an easy life, or they had really loving parents. Most
of the time, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Happy people are making specific choices regarding their
thinking and behavior. Happy people CONSCIOUSLY choose to
think and behave in ways that result in happiness. Unhappy
people are UNCONSCIOUSLY thinking and behaving in ways that
create unhappiness.

Following are five of the specific choices that happy people
make:

OPTIMISM

Happy people see the glass as half full, while unhappy
people choose to be pessimistic – to see the glass as half
empty. Optimistic thinking does not just happen - it is a
choice regarding how you see life. Optimistic people are
optimistic because they CHOOSE to be optimistic. Instead of
allowing their ego wounded self to be in charge with all its
doom and gloom, happy people put their loving adult self in
charge and open to the wonderful possibilities that life has
to offer. Happy people realize that their thinking is the
beginning of a creative process that leads to manifestation.
By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to act in
ways that manifest their dreams.

KINDNESS

Happy people choose to be kind and compassionate toward
themselves and others. Happy people have learned that how
they treat themselves and others determines much of how they
feel. Happy people do not wait to be happy before being kind
to themselves and others. They realize that their happiness
is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it.
They are kind, caring and compassionate whether or not they
feel like it. They have chosen this way of being, and their
happiness is the result.

FORGIVENESS

Happy people do not harbor resentment toward others, even
others who have been mean and hurtful toward them. They
realize that resentment makes them unhappy, so they choose
to allow people their humanness and forgive them their
hurtful behavior. Because happy people tend not to take
personally others' uncaring behavior, they don't get their
feelings hurt in the same way that people do who take
others' behavior personally. Happy people recognize that
another's behavior is really about that other person, so
they move into compassion toward themselves and others
rather than into judgment.

ACCEPTANCE

Happy people realize what they can control and what they
can't. They live by the Serenity Prayer, accepting the
things they cannot change and changing the things they can.
Unhappy people are constantly trying to change people and
circumstances and do not accept their lack of control. As a
result, they are constantly frustrated. Happy people realize
they cannot control others and outcomes, so they focus on
what they can control – their own thinking and behavior.
Acceptance of what they can and cannot control leads to
happiness and inner peace.

GRATITUDE

Finally, happy people are consistently grateful for what
they have, rather than complaining about what they don't
have. They notice the many gifts and blessings that come
their way and they frequently express gratitude for the
everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature, the
food they eat, the smile on a friend's face, their ability
to see, hear, walk, talk. Even many disabled people who may
not have the blessings of eyesight, hearing, speech or legs
are often happy people because they focus on what they do
have and what they can do, rather than focusing on what they
are missing out on.

If you want to be happy, then you need to recognize that
happiness is the result of your thinking and behavior, not
the cause of it. If you choose to focus on becoming
conscious of what thoughts and behavior make you feel happy,
you can become a happy person – regardless of your present
circumstances. Happiness does not just happen – it takes
work!

About The Author:

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is
the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a
FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone
Sessions Available.