Prevent Divorce
Author: John Furnem

From my experience couple trying to Stop Divorce are faced with
many challenges, some of these issues and challenges are often
very surprising. One of the people who visited my site sent me
an email saying that I would not believe how easy it was to
work on some parts of the prevent divorce issue, and that the
hardest thing he and his wife faced was breaking the old
habits, changing the way they conducted themselves, the
automatic pilot that drives relationships into walls.

This is what this article is about, trying to notice the point
in which you lose control over your target (preventing and
stopping your divorce) and let the auto pilot drive your
relationship into a difficult spot. Shedding light on a few
points, I hope that you will be better equipped the next time
you are facing an argument or even a discussion.

First point, is almost too easy, the blame game. How easy is
this? Now honestly, think about it, almost everyone does it,
and you have done it many times before, you play this stupid
little game, get yourself wrapped around this idea and lose
control, not only escalating the situation but getting into a
mindset of blaming and anger, this would not help you, or
anyone for that matter, achieve anything. What you really need
to do is examine the situation, think about what you did, or
what you usually do, and what your spouse does, and be as
objective as you can. Make a table with the things you both do,
never forget to notice the things that you do wrong, because
everyone does something wrong, and admit it, to yourself and to
your spouse.

Second, the "you are overreacting" sentence. How helpful was
that?, men tend to say this to woman a lot, but I saw a few
woman do that too, and this is a nasty one, not only do you
judge your spouse, you are also criticizing their response,
like you have any right to. Think about it for a moment, I am
sure you will understand that this is a terrible thing to say
and that in no case should you even consider saying this, take
things at face value, if your partner is angry, focus on why he
or she got to this situation and deal with it, don't push it
away and award the what you think is an exaggerated reaction
level to your partner.

Children or family issues, this is an extremely delicate issue.
Using children as weapons in arguments and fights is something a
lot of people do, a classic example of losing control and saying
things you live to regret for a long time. A clear stop sign, if
you can see it while you are angry and upset, in a middle of an
argument, try your best to avoid using your children or other
family members in fights.

One last point which is the general advice I can give, when
discussing things with your spouse, or even when arguing or
fighting, try and make the situation even, try and balance the
power and the objectivity of the situation. This means that no
one has clear control over the discussion, that it is a free –
equal power debate between two people and not a lecture or
verbal beating to one or another person.

In the next article I will discuss these issues further, good
luck saving your relationship and stop divorce.


About The Author: John Furnem is a dot com veteran,
specializing in personality psychology he has written articles
and held workshops/seminars for stress management and divorce
prevention. John currently writes
http://stopdivorce.zupatips.com/ Tips and Advice articles.