Yes, Virginia, There Is a Secret to Happiness
By The Happy Guy (David Leonhardt)

Is there a secret to happiness?  You probably are expecting me to
say "NO, there is no secret."  While it is true that there are
many factors that affect our happiness, I believe there is one
secret that determines whether those factors will work for you,
and that is the secret to happiness.

But first, a few words of background.  In 2001, I published the
first edition of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of
maximum happiness.  I did all the things authors do, right up to
getting myself some media interviews.  Being an old hand at media
relations (actually, Canada's send-most-quoted consumer advocate
at the time), you would think I would have been superbly prepared
for the question that almost every journalist would ask me:

"So, which of the 9 habits is most important?"

What?!  Which one is most important?  Why, they are all
important, of course.  That's why I wrote about them all.  I was
obviously too close to the forest to see the trees.  Or, in this
case, the tree.

After being asked this question a few times, I was forced to
think, and think hard.  And out of nowhere, I had an "Aha!"
moment that stands the test of time five years later.

One of the 9 habits I wrote about is more important than the
others.  One of my 9 habits activates all the others.  One of my
habits is the secret to happiness.  It starts on page 83 of the
second edition.

"Count Your Blessings"

It sounds so simple, and so, well, almost corny.  But let me give
you a concrete example of how this works.

Have you ever bought a new car?  Remember the pride you felt and
the excitement when you made the choice?  When you signed the
papers?  When you drove it off the lot?  Do you remember that
"new car smell"?

Then something happened.  Where is that pride today?  Where is
that excitement now?  What happened to that "new car smell"?

Simple.  You stopped counting your blessings.  When you bought
the car, it was a step up.  Perhaps it was a better car.  Or a
bigger car.  Or simply a car that would spend less days on the
hoist. You were grateful.  You were appreciative.  You were
counting this blessing.

It does not take long for a new blessing to be taken for granted.
And the new car becomes just another thing in your life that you
take for granted.  Consider this incredible set of statistics:

- 99% of people in the developed world take shelter for granted.
- 99% of people in the developed world take breakfast for
granted.
- 99% of people in the developed world take lunch for granted.
- 99% of people in the developed world take dinner for granted.
- 99% of people in the developed world take clothing for granted.

At the risk of sounding trite or glib, most people in the
developed world take cars, televisions, computers, vacations,
toasters, freedom of speech, paper clips and thousands of other
conveniences for granted.  In fact, a TV remote control that
requires a battery change or a web page that takes more than five
seconds to load are considered serious irritations.

Who is happier, the person grateful to be able to change those
batteries and wait for that web page?  Or the person grumbling
about the time it takes and the inconvenience and the bother and
why can't things work better?  (Why don't they make things like
they used to?  Why does the lineup have to be so long?  Why is it
so cold outside?  Why do I have to go to work today?)

Of course you have every right to complain any time you choose.
Nobody wants to take away your right to be unhappy.  But I would
love to take away your unhappiness, if you are willing to take
action.

This is where "counting your blessings", simple and even corny,
is not as easy as it sounds.  Our knee-jerk reaction is to
complain, to grumble, to be frustrated, to feel almost offended
when things don't work out "perfectly", just the way we want them
to.  Imagine poor God, sifting through the millions of prayers he
receives daily.  Despite the cornucopia of blessings we receive,
I am willing to bet that he receives ten times more "Gimmee"
prayers than "Thank you" prayers.

Counting our blessings in this day and age of entitlement is not
as simple as it sounds, and it sure is not easy to do. In fact,
billions of dollars of advertising conspire to reinforce the
belief that whatever we have is not good enough and that we
deserve better.  Who is there to tell us we have enough?  Who can
help us feel happy with what we have?

You.  Only you. Are you ready to give up your own natural knee-
jerk reaction and choose to be happy?

You can have all the confidence in the world, but if you do not
actively feel grateful for the fruits of your confidence, it will
not bring you happiness.  You can have immaculate health, but if
you do not think about how wonderful that is, it will not bring
you happiness.  You can smile, build friendships, achieve
success, win the lottery, or do whatever you desire, but if you
are not saying every day, "Wow! This is wonderful.  This is
grand.  I am the luckiest man (or woman) alive because of this,"
don't expect it to bring you happiness.

Yes, there is a secret to happiness.  The secret is gratitude.
The secret is appreciation.  Or, as I call it in Climb Your
Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness, the secret
is to count your blessings.

ABOUT THE WRITER

This is an excerpt from 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life
http://www.thehappyguy.com/secret.html
David Leonhardt is a freelance writer:
http://www.seo-writer.net/freelance/writer.html
Who runs a happiness website:
http://www.thehappyguy.com