Talking To Teens
Author: Katelyn Thomas

The teen years are filled with challenges, but probably the
most frustrating thing for many parents is talking to teens.
Suddenly, that child that babbled like a happy brook has turned
into an almost silent creature who communicates by eye rolling
and sarcastic asides. While you may be tempted to just throw up
your hands in frustration and wait seven or eight years to try
again, talking to teens is important enough to keep trying.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make when talking to teens
is trying to be cool, phat, hip, with it - you get the idea.
Actually, your teens have plenty of friends, but they only have
one set of parents. While they may seem to hate you at the
moment, they'll respect you more for staying parents and not
worrying about being friends. Of course, this does not mean
that you have to be authoritative and unbending. You want your
teens to know that they can come to you with problems and
insecurities without getting into trouble or being belittled.
Just don't worry about winning a popularity contest.

So, how do you talk to your teen? First, never try to hold
meaningful conversations in front of friends or as your teen is
rushing out the door. Instead, pick a quiet time, like the ten
minutes after dinner when your teen is clearing the table for
more private discussions or talk during the meal about lighter
topics. Avoid questions that can be answered without much
thought, like "How was your day?" Instead, ask if Mr. Simmons
had a pop quiz or whether that new teacher was as mean as
everyone thought.

Don't stop talking just because your teen doesn't seem to be
responding. Parents who are persistent in talking to their
teens usually find that their children will finally begin
talking to them again, while those who give up may never be
able to reopen the lines of communication.

One of the best ways to keep your teens talking is to do
something special with them at least once a week. Something as
simple as an hour at the mall followed by a visit to the local
coffee shop or juice bar can really help you stay connected.
Camping, hiking, tennis, and miniature golf can all be great
ways for your teen to spend time with you in a relaxed
environment. Even watching a favorite home video together can
be a great way to encourage your teen to open up. However,
whatever you choose to do with your teen, make sure that you
don't cancel your time together because something else came up.


Finally, if your teen's sudden change of mood is combined with
bloodshot eyes or jittery behavior, you may have a more serious
problem than an uncommunicative teen on your hands. Teens
experimenting with drugs often stop talking with their parents.
If you suspect that your teen has a drug problem, get
professional help.


About The Author: Mama On the Go offers parenting tips and
timesavers for busy moms. Visit http://www.mamaonthego.com for
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