Stop Talking, Start Learning!
Author: Avish Parashar

Keeping an empty and open mind is vital when interacting with
others. One of my favorite Zen stories illustrates why, and I
have included it here. I first read it in 'Zen in the Martial
Arts' by Joe Hyams, but I have seen it in other sources as well.

In this story, an accomplished professor visits a Zen Master to
learn about Zen. Whenever the Zen Master gets into a point, the
professor begins to give his own opinions and viewpoints, This
continues for some time, with the Zen Master being completely
unable to convey his learnings to the professor. The Master
decides to take a break and makes some tea. He puts a cup in
front of the professor and begins to pour. He fills the cup all
the way and then continues to pour. The cup overflows, but the
Master keeps pouring, Finally, the professor can not hold back
and blurts out, 'Stop, the cup is full and can not take anymore
tea.' The Zen Master looks at the professor and says, 'like this
cup, you are so full of knowledge that you can not accept
anymore. Only if you empty your cup can I teach you anything.'

How often do we as people seek out knowledge but then remain
un-teachable by our preconceived ideas? How often do we go to a
class but then try to show the teacher how much we know rather
then just learning what he has to offer? How often are we in a
conversation with someone but rather than really hearing and
understanding what they have to say we care much more about
getting the other person to understand us?

Most people who can not let go like this have a challenge with
insecurity, whether they consciously realize it or not. When they
are being taught something, they have an innate need to
demonstrate what they already know. It's as if they believe that
by simply keeping quiet and listening, they are diminishing their
power. The irony is that the people whon have the inner calm and
confidence to listen are the most powerful people of all. They
also happen to be the ones who grow and learn the most because
they are open to new ideas.

Here are three simple ideas to help you empty your cup:

1) When you ask someone for advice, resolve to listen to their
answer completely before saying anything else. *Once they are
finished,* if they have told you nothing new, politely mention to
them that you already know that and then ask if they have any
other advice.

2) When you feel an inner signal to interrupt or point out what
you know, do not act on it immediately. Instead, acknowledge the
feeling and realize that this is your ego getting in the way.
Remind yourself that you are here for information, not to stroke
your ego.

3) If someone tells you something you already know, it may be
because you need to hear it again. Rather than being annoyed that
you are being reminded of something, actually listen to the
advice as if you are getting it for the first time and see if you
don't come up with a new idea yourself.

Habit number four in 'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective
People' by Stephen Covey is 'seek first to understand, then to
be understood.' This is an amazingly simple but powerful
principle for interacting with others, and the most powerful way
to do it is to empty your cup.

Avish Parashar is the world's funniest (and potentially only)
"Improvising Motivational Keynote Speaker" To learn more about
how to bring the hilariously powerful lessons of improv comedy to
your organization, visit http://www.avishparashar.com

Avish has created several amazing products on using improv
comedy, including a new 3-DVD set titled, "Improv for Speakers!"
For more information (and a fr.ee 7-Day E-Course), visit
http://www.improvforspeakers.com