The Cult of the Narcissist
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

The narcissist is the guru at the centre of a cult. Like other
gurus, he demands complete obedience from his flock: his spouse, his
offspring, other family members, friends, and colleagues. He feels
entitled to adulation and special treatment by his followers. He
punishes the wayward and the straying lambs. He enforces discipline,
adherence to his teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished
he is in reality - the more stringent his mastery and the more
pervasive the brainwashing.

The - often involuntary - members of the narcissist's mini-cult
inhabit a twilight zone of his own construction. He imposes on them
a shared psychosis, replete with persecutory delusions, "enemies",
mythical narratives, and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted.

The narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability,
fuzziness, and ambient abuse. His ever-shifting whims exclusively
define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what is to be
pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines the rights and
obligations of his disciples and alters them at will.

The narcissist is a micro-manager. He exerts control over the
minutest details and behaviours. He punishes severely and abuses
withholders of information and those who fail to conform to his
wishes and goals.

The narcissist does not respect the boundaries and privacy of his
reluctant adherents. He ignores their wishes and treats them as
objects or instruments of gratification. He seeks to control both
situations and people compulsively.

He strongly disapproves of others' personal autonomy and
independence. Even innocuous activities, such as meeting a friend or
visiting one's family require his permission. Gradually, he isolates
his nearest and dearest until they are fully dependent on him
emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially.

He acts in a patronising and condescending manner and criticises
often. He alternates between emphasising the minutest faults
(devalues) and exaggerating the talents, traits, and skills
(idealises) of the members of his cult. He is wildly unrealistic in
his expectations - which legitimises his subsequent abusive conduct.

The narcissist claims to be infallible, superior, talented, skilful,
omnipotent, and omniscient. He often lies and confabulates to
support these unfounded claims. Within his cult, he expects awe,
admiration, adulation, and constant attention commensurate with his
outlandish stories and assertions. He reinterprets reality to fit
his fantasies.

His thinking is dogmatic, rigid, and doctrinaire. He does not
countenance free thought, pluralism, or free speech and doesn't
brook criticism and disagreement. He demands - and often gets -
complete trust and the relegation to his capable hands of all
decision-making.

He forces the participants in his cult to be hostile to critics, the
authorities, institutions, his personal enemies, or the media - if
they try to uncover his actions and reveal the truth. He closely
monitors and censors information from the outside, exposing his
captive audience only to selective data and analyses.

The narcissist's cult is "missionary" and "imperialistic". He is
always on the lookout for new recruits - his spouse's friends, his
daughter's girlfriends, his neighbours, new colleagues at work. He
immediately attempts to "convert" them to his "creed" - to convince
them how wonderful and admirable he is. In other words, he tries to
render them Sources of Narcissistic Supply.

Often, his behaviour on these "recruiting missions" is different to
his conduct within the "cult". In the first phases of wooing new
admirers and proselytising to potential "conscripts" - the
narcissist is attentive, compassionate, empathic, flexible, self-
effacing, and helpful. At home, among the "veterans" he is
tyrannical, demanding, wilful, opinionated, aggressive, and
exploitative.

As the leader of his congregation, the narcissist feels entitled to
special amenities and benefits not accorded the "rank and file". He
expects to be waited on hand and foot, to make free use of
everyone's money and dispose of their assets liberally, and to be
cynically exempt from the rules that he himself established (if such
violation is pleasurable or gainful).

In extreme cases, the narcissist feels above the law - any kind of
law. This grandiose and haughty conviction leads to criminal acts,
incestuous or polygamous relationships, and recurrent friction with
the authorities.

Hence the narcissist's panicky and sometimes violent reactions
to "dropouts" from his cult. There's a lot going on that the
narcissist wants kept under wraps. Moreover, the narcissist
stabilises his fluctuating sense of self-worth by deriving
Narcissistic Supply from his victims. Abandonment threatens the
narcissist's precariously balanced personality.

Add to that the narcissist's paranoid and schizoid tendencies, his
lack of introspective self-awareness, and his stunted sense of
humour (lack of self-deprecation) and the risks to the grudging
members of his cult are clear.

The narcissist sees enemies and conspiracies everywhere. He often
casts himself as the heroic victim (martyr) of dark and stupendous
forces. In every deviation from his tenets he espies malevolent and
ominous subversion. He, therefore, is bent on disempowering his
devotees. By any and all means.

The narcissist is dangerous.

==============================================================
AUTHOR BIO (must be included with the article)



Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant
Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West
Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Global Politician,
Central Europe Review, PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a
United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and
the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in
The Open Directory and Suite101.

Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government
of Macedonia.

Visit Sam's Web site at http://samvak.tripod.com






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