The Pathology of Love
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

Recebts studies buttress the unpalatable truth that falling in love
is, in some ways, indistinguishable from a severe pathology.
Behavior changes are reminiscent of psychosis and, biochemically
speaking, passionate love closely imitates substance abuse.
Appearing in the BBC series Body Hits on December 4, Dr. John
Marsden, the head of the British National Addiction Center, said
that love is addictive, akin to cocaine and speed. Sex is a "booby
trap", intended to bind the partners long enough to bond.

Using functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), Andreas Bartels
and Semir Zeki of University College in London showed that the same
areas of the brain are active when abusing drugs and when in love.
The prefrontal cortex - hyperactive in depressed patients - is
inactive when besotted. How can this be reconciled with the low
levels of serotonin that are the telltale sign of both depression
and infatuation - is not known.

The initial drive - lust - is brought on by surges of sex hormones,
such as testosterone and estrogen. These induce an indiscriminate
scramble for physical gratification. Attraction transpires once a
more-or-less appropriate object is found (with the right body
language and speed and tone of voice) and is tied to a panoply of
sleep and eating disorders.

A recent study in the University of Chicago demonstrated that
testosterone levels shoot up by one third even during a casual chat
with a female stranger. The stronger the hormonal reaction, the more
marked the changes in behavior, concluded the authors. This loop may
be part of a larger "mating response". In animals, testosterone
provokes aggression and recklessness. The hormone's readings in
married men and fathers are markedly lower than in single males
still "playing the field".

Helen Fisher of Rutger University suggests a three-phased model of
falling in love. Each stage involves a distinct set of chemicals.
The BBC summed it up succinctly and sensationally: "Events occurring
in the brain when we are in love have similarities with mental
illness".

Moreover, we are attracted to people with the same genetic makeup
and smell (pheromones) of our parents. Dr Martha McClintock of the
University of Chicago studied feminine attraction to sweaty T-shirts
formerly worn by males. The closer the smell resembled her father's,
the more attracted and aroused the woman became. Falling in love is,
therefore, an exercise in proxy incest and a vindication of Freud's
much-maligned Oedipus and Electra complexes.

Writing in the February 2004 issue of the journal NeuroImage,
Andreas Bartels of University College London's Wellcome Department
of Imaging Neuroscience described identical reactions in the brains
of young mothers looking at their babies and in the brains of people
looking at their lovers.

"Both romantic and maternal love are highly rewarding experiences
that are linked to the perpetuation of the species, and consequently
have a closely linked biological function of crucial evolutionary
importance" - he told Reuters.

This incestuous backdrop of love was further demonstrated by
psychologist David Perrett of the University of St Andrews in
Scotland. The subjects in his experiments preferred their own faces -
in other words, the composite of their two parents - when computer-
morphed into the opposite sex.

Contrary to prevailing misconceptions, love is mostly about negative
emotions. As Professor Arthur Aron from State University of New York
at Stonybrook has shown, in the first few meetings, people
misinterpret certain physical cues and feelings - notably fear and
thrill - as (falling in) love. Thus, counterintuitively, anxious
people - especially those with the "serotonin transporter" gene -
are more sexually active (i.e., fall in love more often).

Obsessive thoughts regarding the Loved One and compulsive acts are
also common. Perception is distorted as is cognition. "Love is
blind" and the lover easily fails the reality test. Falling in love
involves the enhanced secretion of b-Phenylethylamine (PEA, or
the "love chemical") in the first 2 to 4 years of the relationship.

This natural drug creates an euphoric high and helps obscure the
failings and shortcomings of the potential mate. Such oblivion -
perceiving only the spouse's good sides while discarding her bad
ones - is a pathology akin to the primitive psychological defense
mechanism known as "splitting". Narcissists - patients suffering
from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder - also Idealize romantic
or intimate partners. A similar cognitive-emotional impairment is
common in many mental health conditions.

The activity of a host of neurotransmitters - such as Dopamine,
Adrenaline (Norepinephrine), and Serotonin - is heightened (or in
the case of Serotonin, lowered) in both paramours. Yet, such
irregularities are also associated with Obsessive-Compulsive
Disorder (OCD) and depression.

It is telling that once attachment is formed and infatuation gives
way to a more stable and less exuberant relationship, the levels of
these substances return to normal. They are replaced by two hormones
(endorphins) which usually play a part in social interactions
(including bonding and sex) - Oxytocin (the "cuddling chemical") and
Vasopressin. Oxytocin facilitates bonding. It is released in the
mother during breastfeeding, in the members of the couple when they
spend time together - and when they sexually climax.

Love, in all its phases and manifestations, is an addiction,
probably to the various forms of internally secreted norepinephrine,
such as the aforementioned amphetamine-like PEA. Love, in other
words, is a form of substance abuse. The withdrawal of romantic love
has serious mental health repercussions.

A study conducted by Dr. Kenneth Kendler, professor of psychiatry
and director of the Virginia Institute for Psychiatric and
Behavioral Genetics, and others, and published in the September
issue of Archives of General Psychiatry, revealed that breakups
often lead to depression and anxiety.

Still, love cannot be reduced to its biochemical and electrical
components. Love is not tantamount to our bodily processes - rather,
it is the way we experience them. Love is how we interpret these
flows and ebbs of compounds using a higher-level language. In other
words, love is pure poetry.

Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant
Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West
Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Global Politician,
Central Europe Review, PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a
United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and
the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in
The Open Directory and Suite101.

Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government
of Macedonia.

Visit Sam's Web site at http://samvak.tripod.com