Fueled by Kind Words and Praise
Julie Jordan Scott

I stood on stage, surrounded only by the blinding
ray of a spotlight.  All else was darkness. My voice
delivered the words from my poem to the
audience which was invisible to my eye yet palpable
to my spirit.

I knew there were people surrounding me because
I could hear the collective intake of breath and the
counterpoint of sniffles and lightly held sobs.  The
beam of light held me as the touch of Tom
surrounded me once again.

I was simultaneously back on stage as Jack's Mom,
reliving and witnessing the moment one more time.

Any last threads of self consciousness exited as I
stopped hearing anything from anyone and instead
heard only my own heart beat.  In one sense its
insistent patter surprised and delighted me and
yet it also repulsed me.

If my heart stopped, would I be with Tom again?
Would he finally not leave me?

I vaguely remember the blackout, the moment
the light let go of me and my feet somehow took
me back into the wings.  I only slightly remember
I found my way into Katie's arms where I sobbed
some more.  I viscerally remember receiving
incredible hugs from friends and even people
I had never met before, speaking praise
intermingled with sorrow.

I remember walking around backstage for a bit,
seeing and hugging Justin, and realizing I needed
to leave so that I could be to my next gig on time.

I didn't know then how many people would stop
me to speak to me about it in the coming week.

Jennifer said, "I have seen you before, but after
that. now. I really, really see you."

Julia said, "I was incredibly moved... even though
I know I have seen you perform that before. on
Saturday it was just so. soooo" and she stood
with me in that wordless place that says more than
language can tell.

On Saturday, I listened as Rich explained the
many reasons my poetry performance wove
its way into his heart and soul.  "I thought some
one would have to pry me out of my seat," he said.
"When you finished, I literally could not move.."

It was a week later.  People were still sharing their
responses with me, their kind words of praise.

A week later, more poetry flowed - poetry fueled by
this energy of love.  It is natural: there is no place
I feel more loved and more secure than in words
of kind witness and praise.

Cicero wrote, "We are all motivated by a keen
desire for praise, and the better a man is, the
more he is inspired by glory."

There is no place I feel smaller yet more alive.  There
is no place I feel more strength and courage to
continue then in the echoes of praise.  I recall
those words spoken or written from people who
take the time to say something, anything, that
speaks of how my art impacts their heart.

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Julie Jordan Scott is a Writer, Speaker, Success
Coach, Actor, Director, Poet Workshop Facilitator
and Mother Extraordinaire. Register now for the upcoming
fr>e>e writing workshop that changed the world:
42 Days of Writing Passionately. Check it out and
sign up now: http://www.PassionWriteNow.com