How to Achieve Your Goals and Be Happy Doing It
Author: Avish Parashar

How to Achieve Your Goals and Be Happy Doing It

I love goals. I set them every year, and revisit them and set new
ones throughout the year.

I also hate goals. I follow the advice of goal setting experts
and set big goals, and put them in writing, and visualize them,
but it seems that many of the goals never seem to hit.

This often leads to the slightly depressed feeling of realizing
that I didn't hit my goal, coupled with the acceptance that my
life is not where I wanted it to be.

The real problem occurs though, in the fact that my mood, energy,
and sense of self-esteem end up tied into whether I achieved
those goals. You've probably been there: You just did a great
sales presentation and you're waiting to here back from the
client. If the client comes back with a "yes," you feel happy and
great. If you get a "no," you feel down and sad. Or perhaps
you're trying to lose weight, and you eat well and exercise, but
when you step on the scale the number hasn't changed - that's a
quick route to depression. Once in while the reverse happens: you
eat poorly, skip a couple of workouts, but the scale still shows
a drop. Here you may feel good even though you know you messed
the week up.

Having goals is great, but judging our success and feelings on
the achievement of those goals is a dangerous game, because we
place our sense of self-esteem on external factors.

The next time you set goals (New Years or otherwise) make sure to
set two types of goals: result goals and activity goals.

Result Goals - These are the things we want to get or achieve. "I
want to make $100,000 this year." "I want to lose 25 pounds." "I
will own a new home." And so on.

Activity Goals - These are the daily tasks we set for ourselves
to achieve our result goals. "I will make 10 sales calls a day."
"I will exercise 3 days a week for 45 minutes a day." "I will set
aside X dollars per month to build up my down payment."

Both of these types of goals are important. But there is a
critical difference. You have almost absolute control over your
activity goals. Your result goals almost always rely on things
outside of your control. In the sales example, you might not be
able to control how many sales you close (buyers are fickle,
after all), but you can control how many calls you make per day.

The key then to achieving your goals and being happier doing it
is quite simple:

"You must measure your success by your Activity Goals, not by
your Result Goals"

You should set result goals. They should be written, and vivid,
and specific, etc. You should take time to visualize them
everyday. But, when deciding whether you are a success, you
should simply look at whether you hit your activity goals.

The two are related. You set your result goals first, then you
determine the consistent actions you must take to achieve those
goals. These consistent actions become your activity goals. When
you plot out your day, or week, or month, determine what
activities you will do and when you will do them. Then, at the
end of the day, week, or month, let your sense of success and
self-esteem be guided by one questions: "Did I do what I said I
would in my activity goals?" If the answer is yes, regardless of
what you achieved, then you should sleep easy. If you said no,
then you need to revisit and adjust.

I can hear the dissent now, "but if I ignore my result goals, how
can I be sure I get what I want?" Make no mistake; I never said
to avoid result goals. If time goes by and you are not getting
the result you want, than you need to adjust your activities to
increase the likliehood of getting what you want. The difference
is, you judge your success on what you do, not on what you get.
Results are your feedback - if you get what you want, keep doing
what you are doing. If not, try something different.

Measuring success based on your activities has three powerful
benefits:

Internal vs. External Self-Esteem - This whole idea began when I
realized how ludicrous it was for a person to let their
self-esteem and mood be based on events they have no control
over. Why be depressed because some client doesn't have the
budget for your service or product? Why get down because the guy
or girl you were interested in didn't call you? Why sulk just
because your body didn't drop two pounds this week? There are so
many variables outside of your control taht all you can do is do
your best.

When you base your success on what you do, you can always feel
good. Whether or not you close a sale, you can sleep well knowing
you put in your 100 calls for the week. Even if the scale didn't
drop, you are happy knowing that you are doing the right thing in
eating right and exercising. Don't worry if one guy or girl
doesn't call you - be content in knowing that you are out there
and doing what you need to to find the right person.

Of course, this only works if you actually do the activities
you're supposed to. If you don't, then you might feel down - but
at least you know that you deserve to feel down and you'll know
what you need to do to fix it!

Foward Moving Action - By judging yourself on your activities,
you will force yourself to take action. Sometimes, when you focus
just on the result, you procrastinate or feel overwhelmed. If you
focus on the individual activity you committed to doing (and
judge your success just on whether you do it) you will be much
more likely to take that action. This will have the effect of
constantly moving you towards your goals.

Ironically, the more you focus on your activity goals instead of
your results goals, the more likely you will be to actually
attain the result you want.

Law of Detachment - There is a principle in spirituality,
improvisation, martial arts, sports, and many other areas called
the Law of Detachment. It goes by different names in different
arenas. It is the Law of Detachment in spirittuality. In improv
it is "let go of control and go with the flow." In martial arts,
it's the "resolute acceptance of death;" in sports, it's "playing
loose."

Whatever the arena, the principle states that the more attached
we are to an outcome, the more unlikely we are to actually get
it. This is because the attachment creates resistance. We send
out the wrong kind of energy (spirituality), resist the positive
things going on around us (improv), get overwhelmed and paralyzed
by fear (martial arts), and just plain tighten up (sports). By
letting go of attachment to what you want, you free up resources
and energy that makes it much more likely for you to get it.

Focusing on your result goals creates attachment. Focusing on
your activity goals detaches you from your outcome; you go about
the business of doing your activities, confidently knowing that
they will result in something good. This is a terrific way to not
only happily achieve your goals, but also to just reduce stress
in general.

Try this method the next time you do your goal setting. Make your
result goals - make them big, make them great, and write them
down. Then determine the activities you consistently need to do
(and are willing to do) to achieve those goals. Then, even if
just for 30 days, commit to ending each day judging yourself as a
success or not based simply on whether you followed through or
not. Do this, and your self-esteem will soar, you will be
happier, and yes, you will be on your way to achieving your
goals.

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Avish Parashar is the world's funniest (and potentially only)
"Improvising Motivational Keynote Speaker" To learn more about
how to bring the hilariously powerful lessons of improv comedy to
your organization, visit http://www.avishparashar.com

To learn how to use the power of improv comedy to be a more
powerful and dynamic speaker, visit: http://improvforspeakers.com