GOING BEYOND THE PERSONALITY

Part I

I believe in the analysis, release and transcendence of emotions, beliefs
and childhood programmings that obstruct our objectivity, growth,
effectiveness, joy and ultimately our ability to love.

Self-analysis can, however, sometimes lead to even greater identification
with the personality - thus decreasing rather than enhancing our happiness
and satisfaction. On the other hand self-observation and analysis are
essential for self-knowledge, evolution and happiness.

For that reason I would like to share here some thoughts on how we can
balance these two needs:
1. Analyzing and understanding the mind and personality
2. Remembering that ultimately we are not our emotions, thoughts or the
personality at all.

Here are some thoughts:

1. Analyze in the Third Person.
We can analyze our emotions, beliefs and reactions in the third person,
referring to «John» or «Mary» or our «personality» or «he», «she» or
even«it». In this way we are continually reminded that we are not the one
being analyzed. We are the witness, the observer of that mind - personality
that is being analyzed and perhaps modified. It is important in such a cases
that we maintain a feeling of understanding, love and acceptance for the
«personality» we are observing and analyzing just as we would if we were
psychotherapists working with someone who asked for or needed our help. We
can imagine that we are our own personality's psychotherapist and that we
are lovingly helping it find greater clarity and freedom concerning its
issues.

2. Identify with others.
Try identifying with someone else a number of times each day. Chose
different people at different times and imagine you are them, wondering how
you feel and what your needs and thoughts are as that person. Try both
genders and all ages. Try people of various nationalities and religions.
Imagine you are them and imagine what you might be feeling, needing and
thinking if you were actually them at that moment. It does not matter it you
are right or wrong. It is important that you letting go of identifying with
your own personality for those few minutes.
You could also try this with animals and plants putting yourself in their
«position» and wondering what you would need or feel. It is perhaps most
important to do concerning persons we have difficulty understanding or are
in conflict with.
This exercise increases our understanding and broadens our sense of self and
circle of identification and eventually our circle of love. It allows us to
be less focused on how we feel and what we need and realize that we are not
the center of the universe.
It gradually leads to less selfishness and ego-centeredness.
Try it three times a day for just a few minutes and you will learn much
about yourself, others and life.

3. Let go of the role identification
Our unpleasant emotions and issues are often created by our attachments and
aversions, which in turn are created by our beliefs concerning what we «must
have» in order to feel secure, worthy, in control, free and happy. However
what we believe we «must have» depends on the roles we have identified with.
If we are identified with the role of the parent, we might be attached to
our childrens' academic achievement. If we are identified with the role of
the male or female (the soul is neither) we will be attached to being
accepted, admired or desired by one or more of the other gender. If we are
identified with the role of the child we might be attached to approval from
our parents or have an aversion to their advice.
Each role identification creates a set of attachments and aversions that in
turn create our most intense emotions. The solution in such a case is to
remind ourselves that we are free souls in the process of evolution or that
we are the universal consciousness observing the mind that is identifying
with these roles and experiencing these emotions and that our true self
worth and security have nothing to do with these roles and attachments. It
is important that we play these roles well, with love and create, connect
and serve through them, but we need to cease seeking our feelings of
security, control and self-worth through them.
In this case, we simply remind ourselves that we are not these roles and
that our self-worth and security have nothing to do with these attachments
and fears.

3. Balance analysis with creative, spiritual and transcending experiences.
The trap if over identification with the ego by in self-analysis procedures
can be balanced by experiential and transcending activities such as walking
in nature, jogging, dancing, singing, chanting, praying, Sufi whirling,
painting and any other form of creative, spiritual and or or nonintellectual
activity. Such activities help us let go of the analytical mind and often to
have transcendental experiences.

4. The Sedona Method.
This simple method of observation and release can often enable us to let go
of unpleasant emotions without getting caught up in lengthy analysis. We
simply identify the emotion that is bothering us and ask ourselves four
simple questions which we answer yes or no and need not analyse or justify.
a. Can I accept and or welcome this emotion or that a part of myself is
feeling this emotion?
b. Could I release or let go of this emotion?
c. Would I like to release or let go of this emotion?
d. When would I like to release or let go of this emotion?
This method is based on the fact that emotions are energy and that the
nature of energy is to move and transform. Emotions that remain are blocked
stagnant energies. Our emotions are not holding us. We are holding on to our
emotions – either out of habit or because we subconsciously are gaining
something from continuing to feel our fear, hut or anger etc. So the
question is can I accept this «energy» and then can I allow it to flow and
move on? It is our choice.
Thus we have a method which first focuses on the existence of a negative
emotion and then allows it to dissipate without giving importance to how the
emotion got created.
The interesting thing about the Sedona Method is that one is encouraged to
do the same with positive emotions thus leading to even higher states of
awareness. (Most positive emotions are also based on identification with our
personality's needs.)
We will discuss this method in more detail in another article.

5. Remember the truth.
We can remind ourselves frequently that we are not this body and mind, but
rather an eternal consciousness observing the various automatic programmings
that are occurring in the mind. It is important to distinguish between
having a body and mind and being one. We have a car but are not our car. We
care for our car and it enables us to move around and arrive at our
destination. We are not the personality. It does allow us to enjoy,
function, learn, grow, evolve, create and serve here on the material level.
Obviously we want to care for it and listen to its needs and love and accept
it, while we simultaneously train it. When we leave our bodies, we will shed
the body and then eventually the mind and personality. At that point,
depending on what we believe we will experience ourselves as evolving souls
or as undifferentiated, universal consciousness. (Take your choice.)


6. The Neti neti Meditation. (Neti = not that)
This favorite meditation of Sri Ramana Maharshi is quite simple. Sit with
the spine straight and quite the mind, perhaps with some breathing. Then ask
the question «who» or «what» am I. Allow your consciousness to seek out the
answer to that question, keeping one important fact in mind. You cannot be
something you can observe. In order to observe something or someone, you
need to have a separate vantage point. Thus, if while sitting there in
passive search for your true self, you observe your body sensations,
emotions or thoughts, you cannot be them. Each time you observer some
phenomenon appear in your consciousness, you eventually let it go as «not
me».
This thought «not that, not that» eventually cease to be a conscious one and
becomes an automatic process of letting go of every phenomenon in our
consciousness until we eventually become aware of consciousness itself
without modifications. Without bodily sensation, emotions, thoughts or any
other type of limitation of consciousness.
This allows us to experience ourselves as consciousness rather than as a
limited personality.

More in part II.
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Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained
over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at:
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on
Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks,
guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology
are available at http://www.amazon.com
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