Sexual Healing - How can we help each other?
Author: Beth Morgan

The purpose of sexual healing is to bring you back to your
inherent ability to enjoy connection with yourself and
others with respect, love and delight. It is a gateway to a
new experience of yourself and your relationships and is
based on your natural capacity for pleasure and choice.

I think of healing as gaining access to all of ourselves.
Yes, even those parts of us we might not like so much, or
hardly know at all. When we have hidden part of our self
way back in the dark corner of the closet we lose our
choices. For example, we all have the ability to be
generous and giving, and also to strongly affirm our
desires and limits. If we can access only one side of that
balance, we are stuck with being giving when we need to be
firm, or firm when we need to be giving.

Healing means we find that part hiding in the dark, bring
it out, and welcome it back home. The wonderful surprise is
that that part always has something to teach us. It
enriches our lives and opens new possibilities. Every time.

Healing around sensuality and sexuality can bring about
clarity and empowerment in all areas of life, and I have
seen the power of compassion and affirmation wipe away
years of shame and confusion. Your sexuality is a deep
source of creativity and joy, and pleasure is a powerful
healer.

The most powerful factor for healing is very simple -
attention. Receiving loving attention from another human
being is the most powerful way to learn to accept yourself
- including those surprises in the closet.

When you cut your hand, you wash it, cover it, and let
nature take its mysterious course. When you break your
heart, you naturally seek attention, and as you open
yourself to receive it, you allow nature to take an even
more mysterious course. You bring yourself back home.

So how then, do you help each other?

There is much to learn and skills to gain, but the place to
start is always to simply learn to take turns giving each
other your undivided attention and acceptance.

When it's your turn to give, simply give your attention.
There is no need to rescue, fix or solve anything. Just
notice this wonderful person in front of you and give them
your care. That's it.

Resist the temptation to fix things. There is no need.

When it's your turn to receive, be courageous in asking for
what you would like just at this moment. There is no need
to worry about the giver. Then just relax and soak it up.
It's delicious!

For most people, it's easiest to start with short turns, 3-
5 minutes each and gradually extend your time as you become
more comfortable and more skilled.

You can give your attention in the form of listening,
holding and comfort, or touch, including pleasurable touch.
The most important thing is to be sure you agree on whose
turn it is and serve that person exactly how they wish at
the moment. Of course, as the giver, you also have your
limits and it is important to honor those as well. It's OK
to say 'No, I can't do that. What else would you like
instead?'


About the Author:

Beth Morgan left a career in holistic health care to become
a Sacred Intimate. What's that? She guides women, men and
couples through sensual experiences that deepen the
connection of spirituality and sexuality. Her students also
learn sensual and intimacy skills they can take home right
away. They like that!
You can find her (and other sacred intimates) at
http://www.sacrederos.com/beth