Learning Your Spouse's Love Language
Author: Lynn Powers

Visiting a foreign country certainly has its obstacles, perhaps
the greatest being the language barrier. In fact, if you want to
communicate properly, it would be in your best interest to learn
a few words before your trip to avoid confusion and
misunderstanding with taxi drivers, hotel employees and
restaurant waiters. Learning those new words may take some time,
but will pay off on your visit.

In the same way, communication in marriage is a learned skill,
and when mastered, will pay off in multiple ways.

Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages," suggests that
each of us has our own language when it comes to giving and
receiving love. The book teaches couples to love according to
their partner's love language – which might just take a while to
learn since the odds are very good that their spouse's primary
language is completely different from their own!

Put on your detective hat and investigate which of the five
following languages of love sounds most like the one your spouse
speaks. Then start learning that language yourself and watch
your marriage climb to a new level.

Quality Time – Does your husband complain that you never have
enough time left in your day for him? Maybe he frequently notes
how everyone else seems to come first. Quality Time may be what
speaks love to him. Spend a predetermined amount of time each
week to reconnect without distractions and focus solely on your
marriage.

Words of Affirmation – The person whose love language is Words
of Affirmation is seeking verbal expressions of your love and
appreciation. She is also more sensitive to your tone and body
language so pay attention not only to what you say but how you
say it. If you're not comfortable telling your wife how much she
means to you, practice makes perfect. She'll appreciate the
effort.

Gifts – Don't worry…if your spouse's love language is Gifts, it
doesn't mean you have to go broke! Pick up that CD or book he's
been eying or even a simple greeting card. What counts is that
you took the time to pick up something special just for him. A
clue that his love language is Gifts: He seems to find great
pleasure in giving to you!

Acts of Service –  Does your wife enthusiastically express her
gratitude when you do the dishes, sweep the floor, change the
baby's diaper, or brush the snow from her car in the winter?
These kind acts of service are likely what makes her feel loved.
So grab a broom or the snow brush and start doing!

Physical Touch – This language isn't limited to romantic touch,
although that certainly can be included. A hug, holding hands, a
back rub, or a gentle touch on the shoulder speaks volumes to
the man whose primary love language is Physical Touch.

When you first start speaking a foreign language, your speech
will probably be broken and awkward. But the more you speak the
words, the clearer they will become. It is the same when
learning a new love language. Keep practicing even when it gets
tough. If you do, it won't be long before you'll be able to
communicate fluently in your spouse's language of love.


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