Marriage Arrangements In Central Asia
Author: Julia Feydman

Family in Central Asia starts with match making arrangements. A
person who knows well both bride's and groom's family takes
responsibility of arranging their marriage. Sometimes up to 3 or
4 people participate in this very important task. Most of the
time it is an elder woman who has the wisdom gained from prior
experiences of arranging marriages, less commonly it is done by
the parents of two young people.

Person who arranges the marriage chooses the bride or groom
from two very respectable and educated families. It is a very
difficult process, description of the bride to be or groom to be
must be accurate, well presented and trustworthy.

In many Central Asian counties those who arrange the marriage
visit homes of future bride on behalf of groom and his family
and propose marriage. Future of young family depends on groom's
character, his parent's and relative's life experiences and the
marriage arranger herself. By taking the responsibility of match
making person has to know everything about bride's and groom's
families and as well as bride and groom themselves otherwise it
is considered a big sin to arrange an unhappy marriage for both
families. Those people must understand that well being and
future of the young family is in their hands.

People of Central Asia have a saying, "those who have a bride,
have the caprices", marriage arrangers visit bride's homes
several times before getting an agreement for the proposed
marriage. Then marriage arrangers return to groom's home, they
are greeted with a question, "wolf or fox?" If they brought the
good news the answer is "wolf", and if the bride has not agreed
to the marriage the answer is "fox".

Match makers visit the desired bride's home several times in
order to obtain her agreement to the marriage. When the bride
gives her positive answer to the marriage, the match maker
"breaks the bread" to announce the engagement.

In ancient Central Asia the match makes couldn't come into
brides home to propose the marriage without informing the
bride's family. The match makes or sometimes mother of the groom
came early in the morning when everyone was sleeping to the
bride's home and swept the floor near the entrance door to the
bride's home that would show the bride's parents that there is a
family who is interested in proposing marriage to their
daughter. Next bride's family would start to prepare for the
visit of the match maker, by trying to find out from which
family the groom is and learn more about the groom and his
family. Parents of the bride did not agree to the marriage from
first visit of the match makes even if they were in favor of it.
First bride's family had to show its' pride and give an
impressions of their daughter as hard to get bride, which would
bring brides' and her family's status higher.

In present time the process of match making became easier in
some parts of Central Asia, young women and men meet each other
in their own and then ask their parents for permission to the
marriage or their parents or immediate family members play the
role of match makers. They tell each other about their
families, relatives and other background information. A lot of
attention is paid to how neighbors describe the bride or groom
and references from school or work.

Bride and groom are allowed to have few dates before giving
their final agreement for the engagement. Those dates are very
important as they give young people an opportunity to find out
more information about each other, such as their views on
different aspects of life, their personalities and interests.
Based on those dates they are able to make a better decision
about the possibility of future marriage.

Marriage arrangement is an ancient and well respected tradition
of Central Asia.


About The Author: Julia Feydman, has always been fascinated by
the history and culture of Central Asian countries. Over time,
her passion as well as many memorable trips to the area has
grown into a US-based travel agency - East Site, Inc. Visit her
website http://www.East-Site.com today and discover Central
Asia!