How Can You Feel Sexy When You're All Stressed Out?
Author: Catherine Auman MFT

Sure, I know, there's work, and working out, and eating
right, and the economy, and relationship struggles, and,
and, and, ... and then if you have kids, there's even more.
What a balancing act! Sometimes it's a wonder we have any
energy left for sex at all. To make sure it doesn't get
that way for you, learn to become better at managing your
stress. Here are some tips:

1. Turn off your phone. The likelihood that there's going
to be an emergency in the next hour is miniscule. If you
can't hear it ringing, you'll be less likely to get
involved in something that this is not the right time for.

2. Cut down the amount of caffeine in your life. If you're
really brave, do away with it all together.

3. Relaxed breathing is full and deep. Stressed out
breathing is short and shallow. Practice slowing your
breathing and letting it fall all the way below your belly
button, down to your genitals. There, doesn't that feel
good? If smokers get to take smoke breaks, the rest of us
are due "breathing breaks."

4. Use the Rule of Fifteen: Get up fifteen minutes
earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will
be less irritating, and you'll get a good start to your
day. Allow fifteen minutes of extra time to get to
appointments. You'll feel in control and everyone else will
be impressed with your efficiency.

5. Don't try to rely on your memory. Get a planner and
write everything down. This will help you get organized,
always a good prevention method for fighting stress.

6. Eliminate destructive self-talk such as "I'm too
fat..." or "I'm too old..." Either argue with these
nonsensical thoughts or get help from a therapist to
eradicate them from your life. No one ever improved from
being criticized to death.

7. Allow time everyday for yourself, for privacy, quiet,
and introspection. If the only time for this is in the car,
take full advantage of it. Even if it's only five minutes,
if it's full and present and in the moment, your life will
be enriched.

8. Stretch periodically during the day. When you're at
your job, especially if you sit for long periods of time,
get up and walk once an hour. Stretch out your neck, your
shoulders, and feel how good it is to be in your body.

9. Talk it out. Discussing your situation with a trusted
friend or with your lover can help clear your mind of
confusion so you can concentrate on real problem solving.

10. Learn to live one day at a time. If you live fully in
the present moment, you'll find there's very little that
needs to be changed.

© Catherine Auman 2008


About the Author:

Catherine Auman, MFT is a spiritual psychotherapist based
in Los Angeles, California. She has advanced training in
both traditional and alternative methodologies based on
ancient traditions and wisdom teachings. Visit her online
at http://www.catherineauman.com