Confront Your Man Or Not?
Author: Py Kim Conant

Confrontation is never sexy; it is more yang than yin. It never
brings the two of you closer together. Remember that part of
your Geisha Femininity is that you are a receptive, nurturing,
peaceful woman, even in the midst of any necessay
confrontation.

That feminist part of you that gives you backbone cannot always
avoid confrontation, even in a great relationship with your Good
Man. When it feels right to confront, do not confront
impulsively. Instead, plan the time and place so as to
encourage a calm atmosphere.

Try to follow the American Geisha's ways:

1. Do not raise your voice; speak calmly. If his voice gets too
loud, ask him gently if he could, please, speak more softly.

2. Make what would otherwise be a confrontation or argument
into a discussion, which is actualy quite yin (oh how we women
love to discuss), and even sexy once you come to some agreement
out of your discussion.

3. Keep a confrontaton from becoming an argument

4. Seek to have a discussion, not an argument. If he gets more
argumentative, always seek to return to a calm discussion..

5. Treat each other with respect and care, and try (both of
you) to come from the place of trusting each other's good
intentions, no matter how entrenched the disagreement might
seem to be.

6. Do not aggressively defend your position (nor should your
Good Man).

7. Keep your face calm, your hands relaxed.

8. Be ready to say you are sorry for how upset both of you are.
Often, with your lead giving him permission, a Good Man will
express similar feelings.

9. Be ready to apologize explicitly for your share of any
blame, if doing so can help you get beyond confrontation to
working together on the situation.

10. Very importantly, remember that an angry, emotional word
spoken and heard can never be unspoken and unheard; it lasts in
his memory for your entire relationship. Speak very carefully
when you are upset. Ask him to do the same.

11. Allow your Good Man to save face by nonjudgmentally seeking
a solution, not by seeking to place blame on him (even if
blaming him seems appropriate and fair).

12. Try always to make each other happy, not wrong.

13. Ask your Good Man to read this section, then jointly seek
always to have calm discussion when you disagree.


About The Author: Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of
an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man,
Hunter House Publishers. Looking for relationship, dating and
sex tips? Visit Py's website at
http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com