The Truth About Cyber Affairs

by Ruth Houston

Cyber affairs are the `flavor of the day' when it comes to infidelity
and extramarital affairs. The internet now ties with the workplace as
the leading place for cheaters of both sexes to find willing partners
with whom to have extramarital affairs.  It has removed most of the
risks associated with cheating on your mate.

Gone are the days when a would-be-cheater had to physically leave
home to seek out someone with whom to have an affair.  Now it can all
be done in cyberspace without the risk of running into family
members, nosy neighbors, or inquisitive friends and workmates.  With
a few clicks of the mouse, a potential cheater has instant access to
an endless array of willing partners.  A cyber affair can be easily
initiated and conducted from the privacy of your home, with your
unsuspecting spouse or significant other in the same room, oblivious
to what is going on.

Is a Cyber Affair Cheating?

Cyber affairs are actually a form of emotional infidelity.  Although
in the early stages, there's no sex involved, most emotional
infidelity eventually leads to sexual infidelity if left unchecked .
But men and women view cyber affairs very differently.

Most men don't consider cyber affairs as cheating.  However women
view them quite differently.  A survey in Divorce Magazine found that
only 46 percent of men considered intense internet relationships to
be infidelity, compared to 72 percent of women.

Are Cyber Affairs Serious?

Many people question whether or not cyber affairs should be taken
seriously -- especially, if there's no sex involved.  A cyber affair
is a VERY serious threat.   A cyber affair should be treated   as
seriously as a sexual affair, because left unchecked, that's where it
will eventually end up.

In the past 10 years, divorce attorneys have reported seeing an
increase in divorces and separations resulting from cyber
infidelity.  According to the Fortino Group, one-third of divorce
litigation is caused by online affairs.

It doesn't take much for a cyber affair to make the transition from
cyberspace to the real world. Several studies have found close
connections between cyber affairs and subsequent sexual affairs.

•       According to statistics, 50% of people who engage in internet
chats have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
•       One study found that 30 % of cyber-affairs escalate from e-
mail to telephone calls to personal contact.
•       Another study found that 31% of people had an online
conversation which eventually led to real-time sex.

So don't make the mistake of underestimating a cyber affair.

Signs of a Cyber Affair

How can you tell if your partner is having a cyber affair?  Telltale
signs of a cyber affair include sitting at the computer into the wee
hours of the night, heading for the computer first thing in the
morning, insisting on privacy when surfing the Net, moving  the
computer into a a locked office or more private area of the home,
constantly changing passwords, and other suspicious behavior.

Chapter  23,  Computer Use, in Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale
Signs, lists 30 computer-related telltale signs that can alert you
that your partner is involved in a cyber affair. (Order your copy
from www.InfideltyAdvice.com. Amazon.com. or 1-800-431-1579)

Regardless of the term you use -- cyber cheating, cyber affairs,
online affairs or internet affairs, it's a variation of emotional
infidelity and should never be taken lightly.  If you'd like to know
whether or not your partner's online friendship is dangerously close
to becoming emotional infidelity, you can request the free Emotional
Infidelity Quiz by sending an e-mail to InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with
the words "Emotional Infidelity Quiz" in the subject line.

A Fool Proof Test

People will often try to justify a cyber affair by calling it a
harmless online friendship.  If your partner tries to make light of
your concern, or accuses you of making a big deal about nothing,
there's one way to find out for sure.

If the internet friendship is as harmless, or as innocent as your
partner claims it to be, then he should have no problem with you
sitting beside him, observing the exchange of correspondence back and
forth.  If he's unwilling to do that, then you have your answer as to
whether or not his online friendship is as harmless as he would have
you believe. Safeguard your relationship by taking positive action
before it's too late.

About Ruth Houston:

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on
You? – 829 Telltale Signs, which documents practically every known
sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs most people overlook.
Ruth been quoted in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal,
Cosmopolitan,  the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Toronto
Sun, MSN Lifestyle,  iVillage, LavaLife, Entertainment Online,
Hollywood Heat and numerous other print and online media.  She has
been a guest on The Today Show, Good Day New York, Telemundo,
1010WINS, TalkAmerica, BBC, CBC and over 250 other radio and TV talk
shows worldwide.  For more information about Ruth Houston, her book,
or about infidelity, visit http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com  To
interview Ruth Houston or have her speak to your group, call 718 592-
6039 or e-mail her at InfidelityExpert@gmail.com