Giving Love, Getting Love, Giving To Get
Author: Margaret Paul

Love. We need it from the moment we are born to thrive. We
might survive but we do not thrive without abundant love. No
wonder we work so hard to get it. No wonder we try to be
perfect and do everything right to have control over getting
love. No wonder we get anxious, angry or depressed when we do
not get the love we need. No wonder we use numerous substance
and process addictions to numb the pain when we feel alone and
unloved.

When we were little, our parents or other caregivers needed to
be our source of love. We were too young to access the love we
needed by ourselves. Our parents were like God – they were our
source of life and love.

As we grew older, we were supposed to shift our focus from
getting love from our parents to receiving the love that is
God. Yet, because most of our parents didn't know how to do
this for themselves, many of us never learned to access the
love that is infinite and always available to us.

As adults most people are stuck in trying to get love and avoid
pain.

• Do you try to get love by giving yourself up to others,
hoping they will give you the love you need? Are you giving to
get?

• Do you try to get others to love you through intimidation and
guilt? Do you get angry, manipulative, or blaming to try to get
others to give themselves up and give you what you want?

• Do you shut down and numb out with food, alcohol, drugs, TV,
gambling, sex, work, and so on, to avoid the pain of loneliness
and aloneness? Do you use addictions to avoid the pain of not
feeling loved?

• Are you trying to make people, substances, things or
activities your source of love?

There is only one true Source of love. The Source of love is
the universe we live in. The Source of love is whatever is your
concept of God/Spirit. God is Love, and that love is always
around us and within us, but you will feel it only when your
heart is open to learning about loving yourself.

As long as you are trying to get love from others and avoid
pain with your addictions, your heart is closed and you cannot
feel the love that is always here for you. Only when you shift
your intention from getting love and avoiding pain, to loving
yourself and sharing your love with others, will you stop
feeling so empty, alone and lonely. Only when you stop making
people, things, activities and substances your source and turn
to Spirit as your Source will you feel the fullness of love
within.

The key to this shift is to stop making others and addictions
responsible for your feelings and decide to take full, 100%
responsibility for your own feelings of joy and wellbeing. When
your intent shifts to learning about taking loving action for
yourself, you will learn how to fill yourself with love from
your Source and share that love with others.

Sharing love is totally different that giving to get love.
Sharing love comes from a full place within, a place that does
not need anything back from another person. When we learn to
take loving action in our own behalf, we get so filled with
love that it just overflows. When this is the case, we receive
great joy in sharing our love. We no longer try to be the
source of love for others, nor do we make others our source of
love.

Today, focus on opening to learning about what is in your
highest good. Ask the question throughout the day, "What is in
my highest good right now?" As answers pop into your mind, take
the loving action on your own behalf. Then notice how peaceful
and fulfilled you feel, and how good it feels to share your
love and joy with others.


About The Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of
eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You" and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE
Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her
at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.