How Victims are Affected by Abuse
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

Repeated abuse has long lasting pernicious and traumatic effects such as
panic attacks, hypervigilance, sleep disturbances, flashbacks (intrusive
memories), suicidal ideation, and psychosomatic symptoms. The victims
experience shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation,
abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability.

In "Stalking - An Overview of the Problem" [Can J Psychiatry
1998;43:473-476], authors Karen M Abrams and Gail Erlick Robinson write:

"Initially, there is often much denial by the victim. Over time, however,
the stress begins to erode the victim's life and psychological brutalisation
results. Sometimes the victim develops an almost fatal resolve that,
inevitably, one day she will be murdered. Victims, unable to live a normal
life, describe feeling stripped of self-worth and dignity. Personal control
and resources, psychosocial development, social support, premorbid
personality traits, and the severity of the stress may all influence how the
victim experiences and responds to it. Victims stalked by ex-lovers may
experience additional guilt and lowered self-esteem for perceived poor
judgement in their relationship choices. Many victims become isolated and
deprived of support when employers or friends withdraw after also being
subjected to harassment or are cut off by the victim in order to protect
them. Other tangible consequences include financial losses from quitting
jobs, moving, and buying expensive security equipment in an attempt to gain
privacy. Changing homes and jobs results in both material losses and loss of
self-respect."

Surprisingly, verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse have the same
effects as the physical variety [Psychology Today, September/October 2000
issue, p.24]. Abuse of all kinds also interferes with the victim's ability
to work. Abrams and Robinson wrote this [in "Occupational Effects of
Stalking", Can J Psychiatry 2002;47:468-472]:

". (B)eing stalked by a former partner may affect a victim's ability to work
in 3 ways. First, the stalking behaviours often interfere directly with the
ability to get to work (for example, flattening tires or other methods of
preventing leaving the home). Second, the workplace may become an unsafe
location if the offender decides to appear. Third, the mental health effects
of such trauma may result in forgetfulness, fatigue, lowered concentration,
and disorganisation. These factors may lead to the loss of employment, with
accompanying loss of income, security, and status."

Still, it is hard to generalise. Victims are not a uniform lot. In some
cultures, abuse is commonplace and accepted as a legitimate mode of
communication, a sign of love and caring, and a boost to the abuser's
self-image. In such circumstances, the victim is likely to adopt the norms
of society and avoid serious trauma.

Deliberate, cold-blooded, and premeditated torture has worse and
longer-lasting effects than abuse meted out by the abuser in rage and loss
of self-control. The existence of a loving and accepting social support
network is another mitigating factor. Finally, the ability to express
negative emotions safely and to cope with them constructively is crucial to
healing.

Typically, by the time the abuse reaches critical and all-pervasive
proportions, the abuser had already, spider-like, isolated his victim from
family, friends, and colleagues. She is catapulted into a nether land,
cult-like setting where reality itself dissolves into a continuing
nightmare.

When she emerges on the other end of this wormhole, the abused woman (or,
more rarely, man) feels helpless, self-doubting, worthless, stupid, and a
guilty failure for having botched her relationship and "abandoned" her
"family". In an effort to regain perspective and avoid embarrassment, the
victim denies the abuse or minimises it.

No wonder that survivors of abuse tend to be clinically depressed, neglect
their health and personal appearance, and succumb to boredom, rage, and
impatience. Many end up abusing prescription drugs or drinking or otherwise
behaving recklessly.

Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant Self
Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East.
He served as a columnist for Global Politician, Central Europe Review,
PopMatters, Bellaonline, and eBookWeb, a United Press International (UPI)
Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health and Central
East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.

Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of
Macedonia.

Visit Sam's Web site at http://samvak.tripod.com