"Dating on the Internet for Guys: Entry Level,"
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

I know you don't need this for yourself, but pass it on to
El Jefe over there, who's having a hard time, and driving
all the women off the dating sites because he hasn't got it
figured out yet how to date on the Internet.

RULE #1: When you're over your heartbreak and have the
energy back is the time to start dating in earnest, I mean
for a relationship with some substance. Until then, if you
are just seeking the companionship of a woman (ANY woman),
it's gentlemanly to make this clear, and to date more than
one woman at a time, so you don't lead her on.

Why? It's the right thing to do. It' also vested
self-interest. Women who get "used" as transitional objects
by men take it out on men in the future … and that will be
you one sweet day. What goes around comes around.

RULE #2: Mind your manners when you're on the Internet
dating sites They're for relationships. If you're after an
"adult" site, go there. There are more men looking on the
dating sites as it is, and men behaving poorly will just
drive more women off.

What is the etiquette for online dating? Here are some
tips so you can impress your lady:

1. Internet dating is hard for guys because it's verbal, so
spend a little coin to invest in your future. A single
coaching session can bring a strong return on your
investment. You'll get facts, clarity, and a well-written
profile that will bring the results you want. Grammar and
spelling are important because that's the way women are!

2. Woman want to feel special, so reply to each woman
individually. No mass emailings. Women can tell because
they have feminine intuition, so don't do it.

3. Gentlemen, if there were money in it, there would be a
million porn sites for women. Save the sexual innuendos,
because they aren't really "innuendos." That's why we love
you, WHEN we're ready and interested. Before you KNOW this,
don't choose a nickname like "Horny in Howardsville." On
eHarmony, don't send the "How do you feel about premarital
sex?" question. In your profile do not say that you're
"highly sexed." Do not make reference to your anatomy (or
send a photo), or hers (or ask for one). No!

4. Women fall in love with their ears, with words – what you
say and how you say it. On the Internet that means reading
and writing. Reach the poet in you, big guy! It will pay
off. You want to seduce her not stalk her. This means you
MUST read her profile, not just cruise through the photos.

5. Be clear about what you want in terms of relationship and
believe her when she says what she wants. If you're not
interested in marriage and she is, don't pursue her. Foul
play!

6. 90% of people on the sites admit to lying, most often
about age. However, it can be about weight and marital
status. Empathy may not be your strong suit, but think
about it – what if you spend $1,00 to fly across the country
to meet her, and it turns out her photo was 10 years and 50
lbs. ago? Don't lie. It will come back to haunt you in the
end, anyway.

7. On Mars there's a lot of interest in appearance. One
client had a man court her quite nicely on the Internet, for
a couple of months before they met, and the thing he was
most worried about was the fact that he was bald. He wasn't
"worried" about the fact that he was "planning" to divorce
his wife, and not even legally separated "yet". It is NOT
visual for women. Forget about your hair, your waist and
your height and remember your marital status. DON'T LIE.
It may even be a felony and some of the websites do
investigate.

8. Check HER out. Women do lie, and some are psycho.
Investigative services like The Closer (www.thecloser.cc)
can keep you at arm's length from the dirty work and save
you time, money and possibly even a broken heart. They can
check marital status, get a photo, residence, bankruptcy,
criminal record, check professional credentials and
licenses, etc.

9. Frame your profile positively. When a woman reads "No
addicts need apply," or "I can't stand a woman who clings,"
or "no drama queens" what she hears is: Your women were
psycho, and you're a fool, or they were normal women and you
aren't ready for a relationship. Either way you lose. Good
women will run, and gold-diggers, psychos, addicts and
victims will come forward to take advantage of this gullible
guy. It's human nature to suspect if there was something
wrong with your past romances, there was something wrong
with you for getting into them. We've all got our baggage,
but give it to the porter and lead with your strengths. If
she's clingy, you'll find out soon enough; she'll start
right in … as you know!

10. Take "no" for an answer. I know it's hard, because
you're a guy and you like the hunt and women are hard to
read, but look at it this way. If it's not clear that she
really means "no," you're better off dropping it because
she's wishy-washy and will drive you nuts in the end anyway.
Choose the big "yes". It's a winner.

Like your tennis or golf game, practice your swing, and get
a coach for necessary feedback. Shorten the learning curve.

And give the new dating websites that feature life chat,
live video and free VolP Broadband Long Distance a try.
It's about time!

Good luck!

(c) Susan Dunn, MA, Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc,
mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and
ebooks to get you the partner of your dreams. The Closer
www.thecloser.cc provides investigative service and resources;
the information you need for your game plan.