Last night, I received a phone call from a lady friend. It was
the eve of her 50th birthday, and even though she is much
better adjusted than most, it was still a big deal for her.

I would make the reminder for gentlemen that there is an
inherent and powerfully structural biological difference for
ladies of this age, as they experience an inline incarnational
death around this age - the childbearing person they were since
their early teens comes to an end, and a structurally DIFFERENT
person comes into being.

So this is NOT about vanity or prettiness; it is a lot more
than that on every level and it was little wonder that my
friend felt unsure. What she did NOT want to happen is to go
into this first night of the 50th year of her life full of
regrets, worries, sorrows and loss of life; she wanted
something better than that for herself, a celebration to help
with this threshold moment, delineated by the way we measure
time and count the days.

We could have easily chatted away the last remaining hour and a
half before the clock struck 12 midnight and try and ignore this
thing; but I didn't feel that this was appropriate as it is a
highly personal transition so we began to discuss a suitable
transitional ritual.

Rather than now performing some kind of "death rite" where one
gets involved with all the ne'ermores across one's entire life,
such as, "I will never hold a baby of my own in my arms
again..." and "I'll never dance to the Rolling Stones live at
the Catacomb in a miniskirt again..." I suggested we focus
instead just on the year that had just passed, year 49.

What had happened during that year?

Well quite a lot, actually. My friend got to live in house by
the beach she always wanted. She had written and published her
first book. She had written her first hymn, had her first
public exhibition of her paintings and had swam with dolphins.


How amazing!

And how much more amazing still to consider that if we were to
travel back in time by just two years, to her 48th birthday,
and we discussed what might be to come, and I might have
suggested just one of these things, she would have NEVER
believed it possible and laughed at me.

So what might year 50 possibly hold in the way of new surprises
and unfoldments?!

We cannot know.

But one thing we can know is that it is a year of new life, of
new experiences, of new challenges, triumphs and moments of
glory.

And it deserves to be stepped into proudly, and gladly, and in
full acceptance of what will be to come.

It was decided to ring in the moment with a beautiful bath, by
candlelight and a glass of champagne.

To spend the time before 12 midnight to give gratitude for what
had been, and to spend a time of meditation after firmly turned
to the future, to have the space to ask for things that might
have waited for many years to be finally fulfilled and
experienced; to have the space to ask for surprises and to
declare one's readiness to step, very literally fresh, clean
and brightly new, into the new year of life here in this
fantastic world.

This is what my friend then did, by herself, for herself and it
was delightful, magical and entirely special an occasion,
without regrets and instead, with a powerful lifting and
affirmation of life, and love of life.

She slept very well, and when in the morning a box was
delivered from which a helium balloon burst with massive
numbers 50 written on it, which further showered her carpet
with small sparkling pieces of foil, all with "50" imprinted on
it, she laughed in delight and said, "This is going to be
marvellous year..."

Happy Birthday, Nicola!


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